Raymond Parenting

Blog » Time-Outs Are Not Working!

Time-Outs Are Not Working!

Posted November 14, 2009

Dear Kitty,

My wife and i are going crazy because our 2.5 year old daughter is testing our patience constantly.  She climbs up where she isn't allowed, talks back and is whiny much of the time.  Things she isn't allowed to touch, such as our CD collection, seem to be her first targets every morning.  We've read discipline books and tried Time Outs, but she just laughs.  Why aren't they working for us?

I can certainly understand your frustration. Time-Outs vary greatly in style, from putting a child on a naughty mat or placing him on a stair - to putting him in his crib.  The only version of Time-Out I recommend in my seminar Setting Healthy Limits Age 1-5 Years, is one that begins with a startle and takes place behind a door and lasts only one minute.

The two other highly effective tools I discuss in my seminar are purposeful ignoring (this would cover whining and talking back) and fantastic babyproofing ( this would deal with the CD problem). 

Once your child reaches age three, she'll be a little more logical and be able to understand the consequences of breaking the rules you set up.  However, as you can see in my blog entry on The Oppositional Three Year Old, you won't be out of the woods - but the woods will look different.

It may help to realize that your daughter is doing exactly what she is supposed to do - which is to perform hundreds of tests to help her learn what works and what doesn't work.  The trick is to stay just one step ahead!

Kitty

Ways I can provide help:

Setting Healthy Limits Age 1-5 Years Seminar

Telephone Counseling

Email Counseling

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