Raymond Parenting

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Throwing Food

Posted December 20, 2008

Dear Kitty,

My 20 month-old has a very frustrating habit of throwing his dish(es), cup, utensils, placemat etc. onto the floor as soon as he finishes eating (or during eating). I can't seem to find a solution to this. Anything I have said has not made a difference. I have tried positive reinforcement by really praising him if he hands me his things when he is finished (when prompted), but this doesn't seem to be working well enough. I would appreciate any suggestions - this makes an enormous mess and is driving me crazy!

I think you'll have better success if you stop reacting to the throwing of the utensils. When something goes down, you can simply assume his meal is over and without referring to the thrown object or even making any eye contact, get him down. No comment, no "look", no sighs, just get him down. Clean up the floor a few minutes later.

If he is still hungry, he'll protest the first time and begin to mend his ways after another time or two. If he convinces you he is still hungry, you may give him a 2nd chance after he's had some time to cry. If he isn't hungry any more, he's better off down anyway. Remember to 'not care' about how much he has eaten. When a parent worries about that they tend to leave the child too long, hoping for another bite, and the child is tempted to misbehave.

The most important thing is for both parents 'not to see' or care when the objects go down. Suddenly his whole reason for doing it (attention and reaction) will be absent. It may take a few days to improve.

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