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Blog » Stress On Your Marriage from the Blessed Event?

Stress On Your Marriage from the Blessed Event?

Posted October 26, 2009

Sam and Shelia, both age 30, waited with baited breath for their first baby to be born.  It would be a moment like no other. Nine months of preparation, a top-notch midwife, breathing exercizes and crib sheets to match the curtains! What could go wrong?  And nothing did.  The baby was healthy, grandma came to help and the gifts rolled in. 

By week 4, however, the shine wore off as grandma left and Sam went back to work.  Shelia lost sleep, the baby cried a lot, and when Sam came in the door each night, all she wanted was to hand over the baby and take a bath or a nap.  Initially Sam was OK with that but he noticed that their relationship was slowly changing.  All their conversation was about the baby, the # of wet diapers, sketchy naps and soon the insides and outsides of this baby dominated their relationship.  Sam wanted to take Sheila out for a break but the baby wouldn't take a bottle and grandma was gone.  Sheila often went to bed by 8:30 PM leaving Sam to spend the evening cleaning up.  How could one baby create such chaos?  And what was going wrong with their dream?

It turns out that the birth of the first baby is one of life's great stressors for couples.  The hype, of course, is just the opposite.  So this couple, going through the normal woes of this life-changing event, thought there was something wrong with them.  They began to blame each other and things got worse. 

Luckily for them, help was not far away.  A very good friend told them about The Relationship Resource Ltd.  It seemed odd to them that they might need outside help but they knew they weren't having fun and their parenting expectations were not being met. Their relationship was unravelling -- it was time to seek help.

If any of this sound familiar to you I recommend you take a look at this website.  Amy is a remarkable woman and a highly recommended family therapist. 

Oh, and if your baby isn't born yet, Amy offers prenatal advice for parents-to-be. This may be one of the most important prenatal investments you make.

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