Raymond Parenting

As a parent of 3, and an early childhood educator, I thank you Kitty for providing such great resources for the community and families. I do have a brain of my own, instincts of my own and knowledge beyond what I hear in a “class”. I think it is the job of all parents to think critically about what is best for them and their children and parent accordingly. THERE IS NO ONE BEST WAY!!!! I understand that many parents are very passionate about what works for them and their family, but when these beliefs are pushed on others I think we are setting starting to cross the line. The bottom line is that children need to be safe and loved, period. How one family chooses to provide that love and safety may differ largely from another family? Who are we to judge!!! Thank you Kitty for your courage, knowledge and patience. I will continue to read, think and observe how to best parent MY children.

By Amber on June 7, 2010

I have nothing but positive things to say about how happy all our family members are thanks to many of the different kinds of advice we have learned from Kitty.
Essentially, what we’ve learned is that babies and children should not be pushed. They should not be pushed mercilessly to breastfeed if it isn’t working for them; they should not be forced to stay up when they are tired; they should not be forced to share when they’re not developmentally ready and they should not be forced to adhere to our busy schedules!
Scheduling a baby is not pushing him. It is giving him the opportunity to get out what he needs to release and to find his own resources to self calm and thus become a well adjusted and confident baby, toddler and young man.  Both of our children, to varying degrees, have learned how to make themselves feel better and they are both well rested. Being well rested has helped them learn to eat when they’re hungry, to develop their imaginations and to do things in their own time. Yes, this involves scheduling them.  Routine is not a bad word in our family and I believe that most humans thrive on routine, with some exceptions of course, to keep things interesting! 
The opposite of schedules is, from my own personal experience with my children ( when I ‘ve had to take them out of their routines ) and from my observations of other people’s children is this:  I see exhausted, stressed out and inhibited children. Their parents also seem quite stressed out and exasperated that their kids won’t do what they want them to( again, with some exceptions ).
I also want to mention that learning how to deal with my children being upset has helped me learn to breastfeed!  With my first child, I couldn’t bear to hear or see him cry and thus I was extremely tense and breastfeeding went out the window. Latching him was so awful ( due to my panicked interpretation of his crying ), that I gave up. With my second son, I first decided to give him bottles to make sure he wasn’t hungry and then when he cried due to some frustration while learning to latch, I relaxed. The result?  A great latch! Now I almost exclusively breastfeed but since I like to do what’s best for our whole family, dad gets to give our son a bottle once a day… our son loves the formula: yummy!  By the way, our first son, who was left to cry for many naps in order to help him learn how to sleep, is one of the happiest and most curious people we ( and others ) have ever met.  Our attachment couldn’t be stronger and according to his pediatrician, he’s in great health ( and he looks so good too: shiny hair, bright eyes, smiling a lot! ). 
Finally, my husband and I have had to make some importance changes in our lives in order to help our children live a relaxed life. We plan our day so that they can sleep when they need to—- in a comfortable crib/bassinet—We have changed our schedules for them, not, as one could assume, have we forced them to adhere to a schedule that suits us!

Keep up the great work Kitty. Both my husband and I (and Ben and Dan )are very grateful that we found you!

I am just sick, like Kitty, that our medical system is ignoring the very real need to help children learn how to sleep.  I have twice seen how much work women put into learning how to breastfeed. This is not an easy process and a lot of crying is involved from both baby and mom.  Women soldier on and put up with physical pain and sometimes don’t even offer their crying babies bottles when they’re very hungry. Why then is it so inconceivable that we let a baby cry himself to sleep?  The inconsistency is clear.

By Alexandra on June 8, 2010