In parenting, how you say it really counts

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In parenting, how you say it really counts

Posted September 22, 2009

"Oops, it looks like you forgot the no hurting rule."

"If you throw sand again, we will go home."

"You have a very smart body. Your body knows when to pee and when to go poo and it always feels better after that."

"Here we are at preschool. What do you need to remember today." (no pushing/no grabbing)

"It's OK if you need to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep faster.

"It can be hard going to bed but your smart body knows when it's tired. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"It looks like you aren't hungry right now. I'll put your plate away and you can let me know if you want it back a little later."

"It's cold outside today. Do you want to wear your jacket or have it in the bag? It's your choice."

"I know! Sometimes our hands just don't want to share. But you are in charge of your hands, so you can help them remember."

"It's time to go inside. Do you want to walk or shall I carry you?"

"Every day it will get easier for you to remember that rule."

"I know it's hard to go to bed wometimes but your smart body knows when it is tired. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"It's really important for the door to stay closed (locked) all night long in order to keep you safe. I'll open it at breakfast time."

"It's OK to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep sooner.

" You are doing a really good job."

(4) comments

Filed under: Discipline, Daily Routines, Feeding and Eating, Sleep, Toilet Learning

Comments

Kitty, thank you for these wonderful parenting “scripts”...I may copy them out onto index cards for quick reference! Seriously, reading these is such a good reminder of the tone I need to take and the frame of mind I need to be in when parenting. Thanks again.

By Kristi Clark on September 23, 2009

Oh Kitty, thank you for reminding me of these phrases. The other day I was trying to remember the phrase you say when putting my one-year-old to bed. And here it is! And there are a couple more here that I am going to use starting today. Thanks again Kitty.

By Shannon Franzky on September 23, 2009

Lots of good comment BUT…
crying doesn’t help a child fall asleep faster - it helps them to go to bed upset, which in turn will cause more night waking. If they are ignored then they learn not to cry not b/c they are good sleepers but b/c they know their needs will be ignored. If my husband ignored me when I was upset I’m sure our relationship would suffer why would it be any different for children?
Also why would i need to lock my child in their room to keep them safe? If my child needs me they should be able to come out of bed and find me. If you want them to not wander the house without waking you up or want to know where they are then a baby gate enclosing the bedroom area at night or close their doors after they are asleep. Their room should be a safe place not a prison.
No matter how people try to portray parenting it is a 24 hour job, not one that ends when your child goes to sleep. I believe that what is easiest for parents is usually not the best for the child.

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