Aiming for Independent Play

Blog » Aiming for Independent Play

Posted August 11, 2010

Are you constantly busy with your children, providing activities, driving them places, trying to stave off whining, boredom and temper tantrums? If so, you may be exhausted! When children are overly entertained and have not acquired the ability to play alone, they tend to become increasingly demanding and always look to the parent of caregiver to solve their boredom.

Teaching children from an early age to play independently is to give them a life-long skill. To be able to entertain oneself with one's own thoughts and ideas leads a child toward a rich inner life. A child who cannot play by herself must be constantly vigilant in an effort to cajole or whine her way toward finding a playmant, usually a parent or a caregiver. Naturally, adults are the most interesting to play with because they are willing to lead the play and the child is often free to take a back seat.

Parents who want to encourage independent play for their child can begin early, by around 6-8 months. Leave your baby sitting with a small basket of measuring spoons, plastic cups and suckable objects for 10-20 minutes at a time, 2-3 times a day. Now your child has the opportunity to relate to his toys without an adult directly present. You may come back and forth occasionally, adding an item or idea; with a toddler, you might stop for a sip of pretend tea or give a kiss to a bear, but these interludes are brief and your child learns over time that the best ideas exist in his own head.

Sets of zoo animals, farm animals, play people, hats, containers, a little music and a tiny bowl of dry Cheerios, make the playtimes feel special. For easy tidying, store each category of play props (toys) in individual baskets.

With this approach, you become the facilatator of your child's play, providing the props, the opportunity and the privacy without slipping into the rold of entertainer. Regrouping the toys from time to time and interspersing these independent playtimes with story-reading, naps and mealtimes, means that by the end of the day you may even have enough energy left to entertain yourself - and admire your good parenting!

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(2) comments

Filed under: Daily Routines, Play

Comments

Great article. I am the parent of 2 boys (aged 3 & 5)and have wholeheartedly subscribed to this idea. As a result, I have 2 children who play well alone and with each other. Be prepared for more messes, etc. as a result but the spill over benefits are worth it. The extra benefits are they play well at day camps, other kids homes, playgrounds, daycare at the local rec centre and are confident in social environments in general. They never cling to me and I can leave them in care with the added relief that they are not upset, etc. because they are able to calm/entertain themselves. It really benefits everyone in the family.

By Cheryl on August 12, 2010

Such good advice!
My husband and I began applying this approach naturally, just letting our little one explore his environment. It was fun and we loved to see him discover, learn and progress! At one point, we got Kitty’s advice on how to set him up in his own room and to this day, he loves his “Special Time”. He often asks for it and runs to his room with glee. Rarely does he want to get out of it and often, we find him organizing things, setting up scenarios and reading books to himself. This is more for him than for us but of course, it helps us get things done—including allowing me to be there for my other child and squeeze in some workouts. Overall, the family day feels balanced and relaxed. There are times when he protests but when he does, we let him work it out on his own and when we feel like it—which is often—we initiate some short bursts of play and tom foolery, to his delight.
We look forward to learning more.

By Alexandra on August 12, 2010

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Blog » Aiming for Independent Play