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In parenting, how you say it really counts

Posted September 22, 2009

"Oops, it looks like you forgot the no hurting rule."

"If you throw sand again, we will go home."

"You have a very smart body.  Your body knows when to pee and when to go poo and it always feels better after that."

"Here we are at preschool.  What do you need to remember today." (no pushing/no grabbing)

"It's OK if you need to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep faster.

"It can be hard going to bed but your smart body knows when it's tired.  I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"It looks like you aren't hungry right now.  I'll put your plate away and you can let me know if you want it back a little later."

"It's cold outside today.  Do you want to wear your jacket or have it in the bag?  It's your choice."

"I know!  Sometimes our hands just don't want to share. But you are in charge of your hands, so you can help them remember."

"It's time to go inside.  Do you want to walk or shall I carry you?"

"Every day it will get easier for you to remember that rule."

"I know it's hard to go to bed wometimes but your smart body knows when it is tired.  I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"It's really important for the door to stay closed (locked) all night long in order to keep you safe.  I'll open it at breakfast time."

"It's OK to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep sooner.

" You are doing a really good job."

 

 

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Filed under: Discipline, Daily Routines, Feeding and Eating, Sleep, Toilet Learning

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In parenting, how you say it really counts

Posted September 22, 2009

"Oops, it looks like you forgot the no hurting rule."

"If you throw sand again, we will go home."

"You have a very smart body.  Your body knows when to pee and when to go poo and it always feels better after that."

"Here we are at preschool.  What do you need to remember today." (no pushing/no grabbing)

"It's OK if you need to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep faster.

"It can be hard going to bed but your smart body knows when it's tired.  I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"It looks like you aren't hungry right now.  I'll put your plate away and you can let me know if you want it back a little later."

"It's cold outside today.  Do you want to wear your jacket or have it in the bag?  It's your choice."

"I know!  Sometimes our hands just don't want to share. But you are in charge of your hands, so you can help them remember."

"It's time to go inside.  Do you want to walk or shall I carry you?"

"Every day it will get easier for you to remember that rule."

"I know it's hard to go to bed wometimes but your smart body knows when it is tired.  I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"It's really important for the door to stay closed (locked) all night long in order to keep you safe.  I'll open it at breakfast time."

"It's OK to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep sooner.

" You are doing a really good job."

 

 

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Filed under: Discipline, Daily Routines, Feeding and Eating, Sleep, Toilet Learning

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Toilet Training for Pre-school

Posted April 10, 2009

Dear Kitty,

My 3-year old daughter is registered for preschool in September.  Of course, the preschool wants her to be potty trained and we've been working on it but some days she gets it and some days she doesn't.  I've told her she can't go to preschool unless she is using the potty, but now she is saying she doesn't want to go to preschool.  Help!

You aren't the only parent beginning to worry.  This week's Toilet Learning seminar registration is larger than at other times of the year. I'm sure this is no coincidence.

Preschool 'by-laws' are gradually evolving, thank goodness.  Some are still very strict but most are reasonable.  If your child has a thin pull-up on for some weeks most teachers will turn a blind eye.  I'm not suggesting you lie about how complete the toilet training job is, but I do suggest you be...vague in your answer.  "It is coming along very well, though I will send her in a pull-up at first just to save you any time or trouble."

Luckily, children usually don't poop during the 2 hour of preschool.  They are distracted by activities and usually wait until they get home.  If they happen to pee in their pull-up during this time, no one need be the wiser.  Tell her if this happens, you can change her when she gets home.

Your daughter's claim that she doesn't want to go to preschool (because of strings attached) is the best reminder for parents not to use this as a threat.  Instead, you can say "You have a very smart body.  I know that.  Your body is working hard to figure out peeing and pooping.  It's doing a good job and that is all we need to know."

I wish we didn't have artificial deadlines imposed by school and I wish we didn't have peer or generational pressure from people keeping track of eachchild's progress.  Nearly every parent I know approaches this so-called milestone with some trepidation.  We need to remember that every body gets it eventually and when or how should remain your family's private business.

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Filed under: Toilet Learning

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