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To Poop? Or Not To Poop?

Posted March 26, 2012

The Danger of Early Toilet Training is a recent article adapted from a the new book It's No Accident: Breakthrough Solutions to Your Child's Wetting, Constipation, UTIs, and Other Potty Problems. by Dr. Steve Hodges who is a pediatric urologist at Wake Forest University.

In his writing, Dr. Hodges makes this bold statement: "Children need years of uninhibited voiding to allow for maximum bladder growth, and if they train before age 3, they are more likely than older kids to develop the habit of holding pee, poop or both." 

Wait! does that mean parents should not engage in toilet training until their child has turned 3?

Absolutely!

 

If you've already attended Toilet Learning the Easy Way at Raymond Parenting in Calgary, the idea of not 'training' until after age 3 will be familiar to you. What will be new even to past attendees are the substantiated warnings and research to back up this timing.  I had no idea so many children suffer from blockage of the rectum by stool - yet, still have a bowel movement every day.  Children can be constipated -long term - without the parents and sometimes doctors - realizing it.  Hodges recommends a diagnostic x-ray of the child's abdomin as a non-invasive diagnostic tool to be used unexplained symptoms like bed-wetting or starting to be wet in the day after what looked like successful toilet training. 

He believes that babies and toddlers need 3 years of practice in being aware of the body's urges to pee and deficate freely into a diaper, before any effort is made to time these urges or control them or hang on to the pee or poo until the child reaches the potty, etc. It's surprising how little it takes before a young child begins to hold pee or poo to avoid having to stop playing and run to the bathroom.  It is this 'witholding' process that can result in a bladder thickened with unwanted muscle (and therefore able to hold less pee) or a rectum in which stool accumulates and eventually spoils all possibility of sensation to eliminate.

Even if your child walks into the bathroom ag age two and says "I'm ready!", I want you to read this article first, just so you'll know how to best respond.  Obviously, we won't advocate banning your curious toddler from the bathroom...but there is a difference between a parent watching, waiting and wondering compared to getting a program going quickly, believing this may be a "window of opportunity." 

What are your thoughts on this provocative article and book to follow?

 

The more adept (ha!) I become at social networking, the more interesting stuff I'm posting on Raymond Parenting News If you haven't been there yet and 'liked' the page, you are missing some personal and parenting ideas I've found to be fascinating.

 

Sleep from the Start Thursday April 5, 2012

Sleep from Now On  Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Setting Healthy Limits (Discipline) Tuesday, April 17, 2012

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“You Mean Your Child is Dry Overnight?”

Posted April 21, 2011

Michelle's boy, Sheraton, age 3.5 years began to wake up dry about 1 month after he was able to stay dry during the day.  This made Michelle believe that dry nights and dry days went together.  "No," said Jasmine, mother of Katie, also age 3.5 years.  "In fact we've been working on overnights for 4 months!  We limit fluids, take her to the bathroom as we go to bed and promise her treats if she keeps herself dry overnight.  This is getting very frustrating."

Sheraton and Jasmine are developing normally.  The fact that one wakes up dry and the other doesn't has nothing to do with training, promises, obedience or intellect.  In fact, I recommend parents do not "try" for dryness overnight with their child.  The child has no control over what the body does when the child is soundly sleeping.  It is their job to be sound asleep and not lying awake trying to be "good" or gain the treat or please parents in the morning.  This represents too much pressure over something that happens while the child is sound asleep.

The more soundly the child sleeps, the more likely the bed is to be wet in the morning.  Interestingly, the tendency to sleep very soundly is believed to be inheritable often from genes passed down through the paternal line.  (Sorry, dads, uncles, grandfathers...)  Bladders also grow at different rates leading us to know that dry nights will happen at remarkably different ages.l

"Bed wetting" isn't usually labeled as such until after age 5.  Even then most doctors are hesitant to take action, preferring to take a wait and see approach. 

Obviously, this knowledge helps Michelle and her partner relax and opt to buy a large box of the most sophisticated overnight pull-ups they can find. Now they can think about other, more interesting things. It is also very important to let your child know that it's not their fault if their pull-up is wet in the morning.  Tell them that they have a very smart body and their body will decide all by itself - when it is ready to hold on to the pee overnight.

 

Feel free to share this blog with other parents who may be struggling with this issue.

May Seminars

Sleep from the Start (pre-postnatal)                   Thursday, May 2, 2011

Toilet Learning the Easy Way                              Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Setting Healthy Limits Age 1-4 Years (discipline) Tuesday, May 17, 2011

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“When should I attend the Toilet Learning Seminar?”

Posted November 18, 2010

Just wondering about your toilet training seminar... Wondering what age is appropriate to sign up?  My daughter is 18 months - wondering If you suggest waiting until after 2 or later before i register for anything... thanks!

In my Toilet Learning the Easy Way seminar I focus on the year between age two and three.  I discuss what parents may do during that year, with a particular focus on my strong recommendations about what not to do during that year. This is a year for toilet learning. It isn't until age three that I recommend parents do any toilet training (sometimes the child will have figured it out independently by then, which is lovely.)

Of course these recommendations go against popular beliefs that all this should be accomplished "early," and parents often feel peer or generational pressure to have this finished around age two.  I prefer to reach parents before they are tempted to start "training" so in that sense, any time between 18 months and 24 months is a good time to attend. Oh, and beware of the "false start" potential around 19-21 months when some children become very curious about the toilet and parents mistakenly think they need to get going on training. Doing so can mean spending the better part of the next  2 years struggling with this issue.

Thank you for asking what many parents wonder about.

Kitty

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