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Twins Without Soothers - Help!

Posted May 23, 2011

Hi Kitty,
 
I have spoken to you a few times, once regarding sleep training for my then 6-month old twins.  They have just turned two, and at the suggestion of our doctor, we have gotten rid of their soothers for orthodontic reasons.  We are now having sleep issues again...
 
Background Info:
 
- My twin toddlers threw away all five(!) of their soothers two weeks ago.  They did this willingly, however they LOVED their soothers and I'm not sure they are over them - while they don't ask for them, they talk about them going in the garbage.  They whine and tantrum for a very long time, when a soother used to solve this problem imediately.  I'm not sure it is related to their lack of sleep...but they don't seem to have any self-soothing techniques.
 
- They share a room, and we put them in their cribs at 7:00.  Nap during the week is at daycare, and it's length varies.  Nap during the weekend is around 12, and normally lasts for about 2 hours.
 
- Since soothers are gone, they are playing/crying/jumping and taking sleepers and sleep sacks off every tme they are in their cribs.  They now fall asleep around 9:00pm, and sometimes weekend naps are non-existent.  They have also been waking up during the night crying.
 
- We have been really inconsistent regarding sleeping since the soothers went away, and have been going back in to settle them, re-dress them, give them back their animal and blanket (which had been tossed out of the cribs).  Going in to soothe them seems to be they only thing that works...
 
- Before the soothers were gone, we were somewhat concerned that their bedtime was too early.  Now we have been experimenting with bedtimes (some nights to bed at 7:30), but it does not seem to make a difference.
 
- We are considering putting them into separate rooms within the next few months - I expect this will cause more sleep disruption.
 
I know we need to be firm, but what specifically should we be doing, and when should we be doing it?   Should we wait until they are separated to work on sleep training?  Help!  We miss our perfect sleepers!
 

I'm sure this is very frustrating, since you had such good sleepers previous to the soother removal.

I think Kristen and Peter will survive and become good sleepers again.  It's only been 2 weeks and during those weeks you've been doing a lot of re-settling, re-dressing, etc.  I am going to recommend you stop that entirely for a week (or more) and see how far they can go in solving their problem of how to get to sleep.

I advise you to keep the bedtime at 7 PM.  I would be recommending this time anyway, and besides, it gives them more time to do all their antics and still get tired and go to sleep at maybe a decent time.

Use some duct tape around their diapers, being careful not to touch skin, and put on their sleep suits backwards if possible.  If they won't fit, then buy some old-fashioned diaper pins to put under the zipper at the top so they cannot get the suits off.

Once you've said goodnight at 7 PM you do not enter the door again until 7 AM or after.  The first night the party will be heavy and so will the crying, since you've taken away some of their fun.  But on each subsequent night, I predict they will tire out more quickly as long as you are not going back in.  I'm sure that has become one of their goals, by default.

Let me know how this goes.  If you do not see improvement over the next week, then perhaps separating them will be your next move.  But let's wait and see how they do with this plan.

Thanks for writing in,

Kitty

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Two Children Sharing a Room?

Posted May 12, 2011

Q: We are expecting our third child and hope to move child #1 and child #2 together, to share a bedroom.  The oldest is 3.5 years and the youngest is 2 years. I am wondering about the best way to make this transition.  I've discussed with the oldest child and there is quite a bit of excitement around this move. 

What I worry about is how much fun they will have and will this disturb their sleep schdules.  The two year old is still in a crib.  right now my husband and I take turns wih the two of them, with each of us reading and singing to them separately, in their rooms.   I'm nervous about changing things, but I don't feel we have much choice.  We need some tips!

A: I think if you give it enough time, it will go well.  It may look disastrous the first week, but after that it should begin to be smooth going for the most part.

At first, what will likely happen is all the fun and excitement you predict will come true!  They will stay awake longer, perhaps giggling and delaying sleep in all kinds of ways.  Start when you feel ready to endure a few nights of them not getting to sleep until a whie past their bedtime.

The novelty will disappear after a few nights...unless you go in repetedly and tell them to go to sleep! If you were to do that, your visit alone will make the so-called novelty last longer becaue their fun now has the additional pay-off of getting parental attention.

I'm glad your two year old is still in a crib because that will set up some automatic boundaries around their interraction.  If you are worried about him crawling out of the crib, dress him in a sleep sack.

One last trick is to put them to bed about 45 minutes eaarlier than usual for the first few nights.  This way they have time to go crazy (if they do) and still get to sleep at a decent time.

As for the bedtime routine once the baby arrives, I think the one you have now will adapt nicely to the new arrangement.  Only one parent will be needed each night to put the two girls to bed.  Same two books, same two songs will work for both  This leaves one parent cuddling with the new baby.  Trading jobs each night should work well for the whole family.

Oh, and don't be stressed if one child or the other ends up needing to cry over something as they both tire out.  Avoid going in if you can and they'll both get to sleep faster.

Readers: do you have tips to pass on for two children sharing a room?  Make a comment.

 

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Is your child climbing out of the crib?

Posted November 24, 2010

Before you move your child to a toddler bed, please consider purchasing a crib tent.  This nifty item allows you to continue to use your crib with peace of mind because the "tent" prevents your child from climbing/falling out.  I always recommend keeping your child in a crib until age three years.  The move comes more easily for them at that age and they can begin to understand the rules surrounding this privilege.  Even then, many children require you to find a way to keep the door closed because they can't resist the temptation of coming out at bedtime or in the middle of the night. 

Here is a link to Wallmart's crib tent product.  (Normally I prefer to recommend an independent store, but WM's link was easiest for me to use.)

If you are having difficulty with a child who has previously slept well, started climbing out. got moved to a toddler bed and now bedtime is a disaster, I can help you through an Ask Kitty Email Question

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