Raymond Parenting

Blog

In Search of Mastery

Posted December 24, 2009

Derek, father of 2 year old Simon wonders why his son wants the same story read, day after day.  "I'm a little tired of it myself and I think a variety of books would be more educational for him.  But every time I try to read a different book, he fusses until he gets me to pick up the one I've read 100 times."

 

There was a time when my daughters were toddlers when I felt exactly this way about the books they wanted me to read.  Sometimes I even hid the ones I was so tired of so I could escape the boredom of a re-read.  Obviously, I hadn't heard of the concept of mastery yet, but I guess my daughters had! Babies, I learned later, have an innate interest in mastery.  Of course, they love to explore new toys and corners and books but once the all-important excitement of discovery has occured, babies and toddlers set out to master the books, toys and experiences that interest them the most.

Mastery occurs through repetition.  Young children are driven to discover and then master all aspects of the rich environment you provide for them, and you, as the parent / caregiver are the facilitator of this essential educational process.

So, as you spend some post-Christmas time "hanging out" with your toddler, remember what they crave the most:  regularity, routine and...repetition

(3) comments

Read more...

Filed under:

---

What’s Wrong With the Book: Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child?  Plenty!

Posted November 23, 2009

While Marc Weissbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child  is among the better books on sleep (I used to recommend it on my previous website) there are many pages I'd like to rip out!  It grieves me to encounter parents who have worked for weeks on sleep guidelines as recommended in this book - yet a good night's sleep for their child and themselves is not happening .  On a topic as important as sleep for babies and young children whose minds and bodies are developing so fast, there is no room for misinformation or "feel good" advice. It is completely unacceptable to state, as Weissbluth does on page 170, that a nine-month old baby might still need two feedings during the night. Demand perhaps, but need? A nine-month old has for at least 5 months been perfectly capable of taking in sufficient calories during the daytime to maintain a satisfactory place on the growth chart. To state otherwise plays with parents minds and childrens health, unfairly. (The only exception to this would be a child with unusual health issues and in that case the family would be working with their physician to make an alternate plan.)

In my office library, there are 12 popular books on sleep: Twelve Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old, the 7O'clock Bedtime, the New Contented Little Baby Book, BabyWise, Sleeping Through the Night, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, The Baby and Toddler Sleep Programme, The Self-Calmed Baby, Teach Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night, The Happiest Baby on the Block, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Calming Your Fussy Baby. I also own a few texts, among them is Principles and Practice of Pediatric Sleep Medicine. 

I have read each of these books.  Each one has some good ideas, followed by some bad ideas, followed by more good ideas.  Some recommendations are supported by research and some are based on speculation and observation. Each one is designed to appeal to a parents' desperate desire to find an "easy" way to  help their baby sleep.  However, in all the books I've read there are what I call fatal flaws --recommendations which I believe can result in even more exhaustion for the family, unexpectedly long crying times, and sabbotage the baby's ability to learn self-calming skills in a timely way.

The one exception is BabyWise by Ezzo.  This book has created so much controversy within the La Leche/Attachment Parenting/Breast-feeding lobby community, however, that you might need to hide it away if your public health nurse came for a visit. Even this  book isn't perfect and I don't list it on my website because it too has flaws (or should I say it doesn't always agree with me!).  But I really like the basic concept of "family centered parenting" as opposed to "child centered parenting." I also agree with Ezzo's concept of parent directed feeding as opposed to infant directed feeding.   My favorite quote from his book is "Your decision to bottle or breast-feed should be made free of coersion or manipulation." My reason for not listing this book on my website is that his subsequent books take on religious overtones and his family structure is fairly rigid.  Still, this is the book I recommend to help parents understand the value of putting a baby into bed awake and avoiding sleep crutches - from the very beginning.

All parenting books should be read with healthy skepticism, and as you attend my Sleep from the Start or Sleep from Now On seminars, I hope you'll bring that same skepticism with you.  You, the parents, know your baby best and once you have collected information from a few trusted resources you'll be ready to chart your own course toward good sleep for your family.  If you don't have time for a seminar, it's easy to arrange telephone and email counseling with me.

 

 

 

(2) comments

Read more...

Filed under:

---

A Clever Nightlight!

Posted November 17, 2009

Yesterday I learned about goodnitelite.com.  Here you can purchase a nightlight which shines like a moon from bedtime on, until the time parents set to be breakfast time - when the nightlite glows to a sun.  Now her child knows he can get up and call or come out of his room.  I love this idea and it will work for children who can't yet read a clock. In fact she has two of them and is going to experiment with using one at naptime, too. 

Please let me know if you have this product and how it works for you.

(3) comments

Read more...

Filed under: Product Reviews, Sleep

---

Page 19 of 36 pages « First  <  17 18 19 20 21 >  Last »

Parenting Seminars
and Support