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Self-Esteem in Young Children - The PItfalls of Working Too Hard On This

Posted July 3, 2011

I've been lying on beaches and having blessed time alone and with extended family for the last two weeks. Now I'm in BC ready to do some sailing (solo with my husband Scott) for almost two more weeks. Several parents have wondered why no Telephone Consultation dates are posted during this time. Phone Consultations are available again beginning on the 18th of July.  Check here for available dates. (Looks like July 18 is fully booked already.)

Unlike parents of young parents, I've had time to read on my holiday!  There is one particular article  from The Atlantic Magazine that I'm anxious to have you read. The points made here should ring true for all of us even though much of it applies to your future efforts to raise children to be "happy" --while it applies very well to my past efforts to raise "happpy" children.  Let me know what you think about the points made in this article.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/print/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/

 

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Kitty Raymond

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Creating Secure Infant Attachment (video)

Posted March 13, 2011

This wonderful video on Attachment is the very best I've run across anywhere.  Here, Dr. Jeanne Segal expresses beautifully the gradual, mutual process of falling in love that happens between a baby and parent.  You'll see that as you bond with your baby you needn't worry about whether your baby is breast-fed or bottle-fed or sleeps right next to you.  You'll see caregiving fathers feeling the same kind of reciprocal love as caregiving mothers will.  Also, Segal describes some "red flags" that can arise in some situations where the attachment process may be interrupted.  She is very clear on how to get help in these situations. 

Segal wisely presents interviews with prominent leaders in the field of Attachment which add immensely to our confidence.  Even if your child is no longer new-born, I urge you to watch this informative video and at the end, become acquainted with her excellent, non-profit site http://www.helpguide.org/ 

Use this link to view the video on her website.  Please add a comment afterwards, on my site,  to let me know what you think about this video and the ideas presented.

Kitty Raymond

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What to Look for in a Dayhome

Posted February 2, 2011

Last week, I had the privelege of consulting with a couple who plan to open a dayhome on March 1.  The mom is going back to work and the dad will be staying home with his 1 year old son.  It  was wonderful to be able to put in all my 2 cents on how I'd like to see a dayhome to be organized.  I really enjoyed being asked and I've been invited to come up and take a look before they officially open.  If you are interested in exploring a  March placement in a unique setting, you may call 403-261-8872.  Speak with Tarl or Heather.  Their home is in the Springside/Wentworth area, quite near Waldorf School, SW. Along with his one-year old son, Tarl will accept 2 additional children, ages 1-4 years.  He will also consider before/after school care.

I thought I would share a few of my ideas on what could make a good dayhome:

• A separate place for each chlld to take a nap.  For 3 children, this means 3 cribs or playpens.  Naps (appropriate for age) are important for a child's day to go well.  It is tiring for a child to be with other children all day, so the naps are a chance to recharge batteries, restore curiosity and provide resilience to finish the day (maybe?without a melt-down.
• A caregiver with imagination, patience and a curiosity about each child in his/her care.  A person who observes what interests each child and who is willing to follow up on those observations with books from the library, activities and pretend play around topics like trucks, baby dolls, trains, ballet, dogs, cats, etc. 
• A supply of interesting toys and items to play with rather than a massive collection of every toy ever invented. 
• An interesting way to display these toys so children are inspired as they arrive or get up from a nap.
• An effort to tidy and rearrange items occasionally through the day to make the environment fresh.
• A caregiver who is confident but flexible about how she/he will handle discipline issues, separation anxiety, temper tantrums should they arise.
• A supply of hats, puzzles, dolls, trucks, balls, items to pretend with and a few cupboards to be safely explored.
• Basic, careful babyproofing, including an assortment of safety devices, as necessary.
• A low adult:child ratio  The fewer children, the better for your child.

This list is not exhaustive, but may help you in your evaluation.  Now, what if your child is already in a dayhome which you feel may not live up to "perfect."  Well, just as our own homes will not always (ever?) be perfectly clean, perfectly run or always have toys laid out in an interesting order, a child's basic need for a warm, interested caregiver and a reasonably rich environment can be met in a variety of settings.  Caregiver warmth and confidence and interest should leave you feeling satisfied with your choice.  If you do not feel your child has access to such a caregiver, then perhaps other choices can be made.

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