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CBC Ideas - The Hurried Infant

Posted April 25, 2010

I've just finished listening to Part 1 and Part 2 of The Hurried Infant.  I think it's an outstanding program and I urge you to find the time to listen.  Much of the philosophy behind what I've been teaching for over 25 years is based on the type of research this program tells us about.  Turns out it's not just babies who are being hurried -- babies these days have very hurried parents. Listenng to this program just might help you feel more relaxed as a parent, particularly on the subject of choosing the "right" preschool and early reading.

Note: two of the women we listen to in the 2nd half have irritating ways of speaking.  So try to "purposefully ignore" that irritation and still hear what they have to say. 

Here is the CBC Ideas link.

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Hot-Button Issues Pit Parent Against Parent

Posted March 22, 2010

 

Once a pregnancy is confirmed, many parents-to-be expect to have an easy entry into what they might think of as the Parenting Club.  Lots of their friends already have children and now there should be so much to talk about together!

Sadly, they may be disappointed.  Many parents find that instead of one large, supportive Club, as they expected, there are dozens of small, exclusive, narrowly focused "clubs", some with daunting membership requirements.

There is the VBAC Club for parents who advocate vaginal births following a previous cesarean birth.  Pamphlets, donations and "efforts to get the word out" dominate these club meetings.  WARNING: Should you end up having a 2nd cesarean birth, you can't belong...there is no Club for you, as far as I know.

 

The No-Circumcision Club is obviously exclusively for parents against circumcision.  These meetings are very large and loud these days (there was even a televised debate on Fox News), and members must enter through the north door to avoid meeting up with the much smaller, quieter Pro-Circumcision Club.

 

The XYZ Best Birthing Class Club meets on a different night from the ABC Best Birthing Class Club.  When members meet up accidentally in a baby products store, there is much comparison of advice and philosophy --usually with one of the Clubs looking like the better choice.

 

The Home Birth Club meets on a different night from the Hospital Birth Club, in order to avoid discussion altogether.

 

The Breast-Feeding Club is a large, vocal club to which everyone must belong immediately after birth.  You are automatically voted in, sometimes without your knowledge or permission.  Members are given large flags to carry and ID badges to wear.  This Club meets anywhere and everywhere.  Many people stay members for a year or more - but for those who do not, there is a "sub-club" called the Bottle Feeding Club. This sort of an underground club and members meet much more quietly and don't keep minutes.  No flags.  No ID badges.

 

The Attachment Parenting Club and the Conventional Parenting Club live in vastly different worlds.  Many Conventional Parenting Club members aren't aware they are even in a club, nor have they heard of the AP Club  (Many AP Club members are working hard to remedy this problem.)  The AP Club advocates long-term breastfeeding (up to 3 years), baby-wearing (see how-to videos on utube), family sleeping arrangements and home schooling. The William Sears corporation leads and inspires the AP Club.  The AP Club occasionally sprouts radical club branches with thorns that are intended to provoke nasty fights with regular AP Club members.  On the other hand, the Conventional Parenting Club members don't hold formal meetings and have no particular guru, to speak of.

Other parenting issues around which new Clubs may be forming as I write, include:

• homemade baby food vs commercially made baby food
• sleep training for babies vs babies will sleep better some day, somehow but shouldn't ever cry.
• babies need sign language vs signing to babies is unnecessary
• early toilet training vs child-led toilet training

 

To tell the truth, I am disturbed by the divisiveness these issues and others are creating amongst parents.  False pride, competitiveness and proselytizing only serve to make the most imortant job in the world - that much harder to do.

I hope YOU will weigh in on whether you perceive this negative dynamic in your own parenting life.  What are your thoughts on how we got here? Are there Clubs out there I don't even know about?  Is it hard to find like-minded parents to fit with your style of parenting?

 

NOTE: All pro and con comments will be published providing they do not include profanities, rude comments or verbal threats to any person, philosophy or organization.

 

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Is It Teething or…Language Development?

Posted November 13, 2009

This must sound like a foolish question.  Your 4.5 month old baby starts drooling, keeps her fingers constantly in her mouth and is often fussy.  Books, friends and relatives all tell you these are signs of teething.  Not only is this nearly always labeled as teething - you are cautioned to "be ready," for teething to start, as if this normal stage is something to dread.

For some reason it isn't common knowledge that there is a less expected - but much more likely - explanation for this behavior...language development!  Around 4 months of age your baby's system begins to produce more saliva.  This extra saliva production enables babbling.  Babies this age are ready to babble and need lots of saliva to make it work well.  "Bababa, dadadada" are good examples of this exciting, early communication.  The hands feel good in the mouth and the babbling is fun and the extra saliva often leaks down the lip, producing what could be interpreted as a "teething drool."

Speaking of teething, the first tooth often comes as a complete surprise to parents. Five months is not too early but 6 or 7 months is a more typical age. It is my observation that most babies sail through teething with only red cheeks at the most.  A few may act "sick" for a day or so and it may be these rarer reactions that give teething it's bad name.  

One last important point is that teething "pain" is much like a canker sore would be for us.  Uncomfortable and enough to make you a bit cranky, but not a good reason to be up in the night.  Giving a small dose of baby Tylenol before bed when you've seen puffy gums during the day is the most you should expect to do as your baby progresses through this very normal, exciting stage of development.

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