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The Picky Eater - A New Perspective

Posted May 2, 2011

It is rare these days to hear of a toddler who eats really, really well.  I wonder if this is due to a generational change in the eating behavior of kids from about 1 to 4 years or if it a product of higher parental expectations.  The "Clean Plate Club" many parents remember from their own childhood seems to be seen as a negative - to be avoided - by today's parents but maybe it has simply taken on a new face. 

Higher parental expectations?  It is interesting to note that charts and "guidelines" posted and promoted at health clinics actually recommend a certain number of tablespoons of various kinds of food to be offered in a certain order to every child over 6 months.  The amounts increase according to age, of course, and the recommendations can easily give a parent the impression that 3 solid meals a day are required at an early age and that the challenges of vegetables, fruit and meat are just around the corner.

It is possible, but I would like to hear from you so I can be sure, that parents are left with the impression early on that their baby's birth weight, post-natal weight gain and toddler eating habits are urgent concerns causing some parents who fear they may be judged, to try to get their child to eat more than the child's appetite actually dictates. 

The research behind starting solid food and feeding toddlers and preschoolers stresses that parents should be relaxed and respectful of their child's tastes and appetite from day to day.  Young children become very aware of colors, smells and texture of food and they also can detect if there is parental pressure to eat.  They learn this when someone hovers over them, watching, coaxing or playing games to get them to eat more.  The pressure usually results in the child dreading mealtimes and actually eating less in the long run.

There are some resources available to you if you feel stress over how much your child eats.  I suggest the Ellen Satter book How to Get Your Child To Eat But Not Too Much.  Also, I welcome Telephone Counseling appointments (45 minutes) on the subject of feeding toddlers and preschoolers.  You and I will study the list of foods your child will eat willingly and make up a meal plan that takes into account your concerns and your child's nutritional needs. I'll help you gain insight into designing an eating environment so your child will grow up with a healthy relationship with food.

Dr. T. Berry Brazelton's magic menu for daily toddler survival: 2 pints of milk, 2 ounces of protein with iron, a little fruit and 1 multi-vitamin!

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The Picky Eater—A New Perspective

Posted May 1, 2011

It is rare these days to hear of a toddler who eats really, really well.  I wonder if this is due to a generational change in the eating behavior of kids age 1 to 4 years or if it a product of higher parental expectations.  The "Clean Plate Club" many parents remember from their own childhood seems to be seen as a negative - to be avoided - by today's parents but maybe it has simply taken on a new face.

 

It is rare these days to hear of a toddler who eats really, really well.  I wonder if this is due to a generational change in the eating behavior of kids from about 1 to 4 years or if it a product of higher parental expectations.  The "Clean Plate Club" many parents remember from their own childhood seems to be seen as a negative - to be avoided - by today's parents but maybe it has simply taken on a new face. 

Higher parental expectations?  It is interesting to note that charts and "guidelines" posted and promoted at health clinics actually recommend a certain number of tablespoons of various kinds of food to be offered in a certain order to every child over 6 months.  The amounts increase according to age, of course, and the recommendations can easily give a parent the impression that 3 solid meals a day are required at an early age and that the challenges of vegetables, fruit and meat are just around the corner.

It is possible, but I would like to hear from you so I can be sure, that parents are left with the impression early on that their baby's birth weight, post-natal weight gain and toddler eating habits are urgent concerns causing some parents who fear they may be judged, to try to get their child to eat more than the child's appetite actually dictates. 

The research behind starting solid food and feeding toddlers and preschoolers stresses that parents should be relaxed and respectful of their child's tastes and appetite from day to day.  Young children become very aware of colors, smells and texture of food and they also can detect if there is parental pressure to eat.  They learn this when someone hovers over them, watching, coaxing or playing games to get them to eat more.  The pressure usually results in the child dreading mealtimes and actually eating less in the long run.

There are some resources available to you if you feel stress over how much your child eats.  I suggest the Ellen Satter book How to Get Your Child To Eat But Not Too Much.  Also, I welcome Telephone Counseling appointments (45 minutes) on the subject of feeding toddlers and preschoolers.  You and I will study the list of foods your child will eat willingly and make up a meal plan that takes into account your concerns and your child's nutritional needs. I'll help you gain insight into designing an eating environment so your child will grow up with a healthy relationship with food.

Dr. T. Berry Brazelton's magic menu for daily toddler survival: 2 pints of milk, 2 ounces of protein with iron, a little fruit and 1 multi-vitamin!

 

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Are We Overfeeding Toddlers?

Posted March 25, 2011

T.J., age 17 months, won't sit in his highchair.  "He hates his highchair!" his mother tells me.  "What's more, he refuses to eat, even when we let him sit in a booster chair at the table.  He won't let me use the safety belt but then he's up and down - constantly disrupting my husband and our 4 year old.  I don't know what to do!  Should I give him a time-out for this behavior?"

This mother's frustration is not unusual these days. I hear often about highchairs abandoned early in favor of booster seats...and the behavioral issues that sometimes follow.  I've made some observations of this situation and wonder if my readers will agree.

I've observed that the amount of food  toddlers are expected to eat each day has risen in recent years.  At the same time, parental concerns about "the picky eater" and high-chair aversion have also risen. I think there is a connection here.  I believe there is a tendency right now amongst parents to set up feeding routines that will actually prevent a child from ever becoming hungry.  Hunger prevention.  It's as if allowing a older baby or toddler to feel hunger pangs and clamber for food will reflect badly on the parent.  So children as young as 6.5 months are being fed solid food 3 times a day and from about one year on, many parents offer carefully designed snacks in between meals to "tide them over" to the next meal.

You might ask what's so bad about hunger prevention.  Well, for one thing, I wonder if this trend might be connected to the so-called obesity epidemic among older children?  I don't know.  Only time and research will tell.  I do know this, however:  It's important for a child to grow up with a good relationship with food.  To know when hunger hits and what to do about it.  To know when hunger has been fixed and that it's now time to stop eating. When a child who is not hungry is placed in a high chair (or booster seat) just because "it's time for dinner" - or kept there for one more bite -that highchair becomes the enemy.

On the other hand, when a child has been allowed to get hungry and indicate their hunger to the caregiver - and the highchair is the only place they receive food - the highchair could feel like the best seat in the house!

Hunger is the basic ingredient that enables a child to eat well, see herself as a good eater and develop a good relationship with food to carry into adulthood.

So yes, I think we may be overfeeding toddlers and perhaps babies and preschoolers, too.   Waking a baby every 2 hours for a feeding or offering between-meal snacks to three and four year olds every time they turn around - could act against a child's abiity to become self-regulated - perhaps inviting chronic "parent regulation."

The obsessional focus on the almighty growth-chart must be given some of the blame here as well.  Parents are trained early on to cheer or lament their child's spot on the chart.  This causes some parents to focus so hard on feeding "correctly" that they forget to consult the child. Are you hungry?  Do you want to eat?  What is your tummy telling you?  These are important questions to ask children every day.  (Even babies, once they are over 6 months, can participate in a "discussion" with you as you offer the breast or bottle.) They need to grow up knowing that they can gauge better than we - when they are hungry, and when they are full. 

I believe parents should take a step back and allow their chidren to take more control over their eating.  A parent is in charge of what food they bring into the house and make available to the child.  But that's it!  The child is in charge of noticing their own hunger, communicating that to someone and then deciding (privately) which foods to try, how much to eat and when to stop. And I think the highchair is the best place for all this to happen up until a child is mature enough to understand the privilege and responsibility that comes with moving to a booster chair.

I would like to hear your thoughts.

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