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Are You Trying to Get Your Toddler to Clean Up Her Toys?

Posted November 20, 2011

In recent years and for a variety of reasons, parents have grown increasing concerned about how and when to teach their toddlers to clean up their toys.  This may be because parents are raising children later in their careers so adult work ethic issues create higher expectations of toddlers or maybe it's because parents tend to buy more toys for their child than any previous parenting generation and they are being driven crazy by the clutter.

"How soon can I get him to start cleaning up his toys?" is a common question in parent's minds these days. My thoughts on this matter may surprise you.

The False Pursuit of a Tidy House

PIcking up after themselves is not a typical toddler activity.  Developmentally, because of their fantastic curiosity, getting things out is a healthy, much more appropriate interest. By puirsuing this interest in touching and handling things and seeing how they work, they are making themselves smart and providing just-right stimulation for their developing brain.

"But I thought that by starting early, I could get her in the habit of putting her things away after she has played with them,"  remarked a mother of a two-year old recently.  "No," I advised, "what you'll be doing is creating a discipline problem that could have been easily avoided and one with a very low success rate." I went on to explain that I believe parents are expecting too much of toddlers and may not be fully aware of how a toddler brain works and how they learn best (age 1-3 years). 

Toddlers Learn from Watching and Copying

If you want to get your toddler to use your cell phone, all you need to do is to be seen using it yourself, very often and with some animation.  Learning will happen quickly and easily. In fact, if you sit down to "teach" cell phone use to your toddler, she will likely wander away.  Toddlers are not ready to learn from being taught but they are ready to learn by watching.  For example, I predict your toddler loves to watch and "help" you sort laundry into separate piles.  I predict your toddler loves to watch and "help" you loading or unloading the dishwasher.  You may not recognize these interests as opportunities that lead to sorting activities you can do with your child and eventually...way down the road, will lead to them having interest in putting things (laundry, dishes, toys, etc.) into their proper piles or places.

Sorting Activities are Key

Research has long shown the positive benefit on a child's growing brain from sorting items into categories.  (And, as a child grows older, re-sorting items according to different characteristics).  So first sorting a button collection (supervision required) according to colors, and next sorting them by size (big or small or things that belong to daddy vs mommy or toys that belong to the dog vs toys belonging to the toddler, to name a few examples. 

Now, as you work through a 10-minute session of you putting toys and blocks and lego away, talk out loud about how you are sorting these items.  "OK, before we can read a book, we need to put all the toys in their right places for the night.  All the trucks and cars can go in this basket.  All the dolls can go in this basket and all the people can be in this little basket.  They can all have a good sleep.  Now, the lego pieces can live here and the blocks all go in this big, yellow basket. OK, is everyone in their right places?  Good.  Now we can read a book.)

Night after night one parent or the other can go through this routine of sorting different categories of (zoo animals, farm animals, dinosaurs, etc.,) into their baskets to sleep with their same-type mates.  At first your child will simply watch and I advise you not to demand "You need to help me."  It's really your job as a parent of a child this age to be responsible for creating a continually rich educational environment , which means grouping and re-grouping play props to afford your child the best opportunity to imagine he or she  plans to play with them the next morning or after their nap is over.  

But in the meantime, you are introducing a family routine which is easy for children to catch on to.  and as you model out loud how interested you are in completing this activity, soon they want to share in and copy a little of what you are doing.

In the meantime, you are also reinforcing the idea that before we can do one thing (book) we have to somethng else (tidy).

More sorting ideas

 

Raymond Parenting News

Seminars

Toilet Learning the Easy Way  November 22, 2011

Sleep from the Start (prenatal)  December 1 2011 or January 12, 2012

Sleep from Now On (12 lbs up)   January 10, 2012

Setting Healthy Limits (discipline)  January 17, 2012

Toilet Learning the Easy Way    January 24, 2012 (plus Nov. 22, 2011)

Register

Need help right now?  Telephone Counseling is available on all seminar topics

Got a question you need answered?  Email Counseling

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Filed under: Daily Routines, Interesting Parenting Matters, Play

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Can’t Attend a Seminar Before Christmas?  Book a Phone Appointment with Kitty, Instead

Posted November 13, 2011

As you head into the busy season ahead, you may wish you could attend a parenting seminar but just can't manage the time or the driving distance.  Rest assured - you'll still have access to the seminar content from your own home by booking a 55 minute Telephone Appointment with Kitty.  And, as a bonus, Kitty will tailor the information specifically to suit your family and your particular situation with the child you are calling about.

An appointment can be booked to cover any of the following seminars: Sleep from the Start, Sleep from Now On, Setting Healthy Limits (Discipline) and Toilet Learning the Easy Way - all tailored to your child.

Or, you may choose to book an appointment to cover several small issues you are experiencing including siblings having problems with each other, how to choose a preschool, why your time-outs aren't working or how to prepare a toddler for the arrival of a new baby. 

Telephone appointments are available on Monday mornings and Wednesday afternoons, including a 5:30 PM appointment availability on Wednesday afternoons.

 

Please use this link to book your appointment.

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Your Child’s Christmas List

Posted November 10, 2011

Wondering how to make Christmas morning a hit for your child without breaking the bank or bring more brightly colored plastic toys into your house?  I have some time-tested ideas for your consideration.  I'll list them according to the age of your children. Some items listed will be of interest to all ages, so you can mix and match!

BABIES and YOUNG TODDLERS

• Box of Kleenex to explore and watch each new piece pop up (It's only Christmas once a year!)
• Toilet paper roll to explore (keeps baby busy while others open gifts)
• One of your baby's own soothers packed into a box with easy-to-rip tissue paper wrapping (they love to unwrap and discover familiar items in a box)
• Wrap up 2-3 Graham crackers to be eaten on the spot
• Wrap a juice box if they are experienced with these
• Make a child's picture album with pages secured with tape and pictures inside of family members, themselves, their pets, pictures cut from boxes of a favorite toy, etc.  Must be explorable.
• Wrap a box with some poker chips inside

OLDER TODDLER

• Wrap a box of dominos
• A real musical instrument (not a toy)
• A set of play people (a family) with movable limbs (These can be hard to find. Please write a comment here telling us where you shopped)
• Sets of zoo animals (zoo gift shop) and/or farm animals, plastic bugs, various sizes of dinosaurs, etc.  Each set could be packed in an interesting box or "home" where they can be kept.
• Story on tape, told by a grandparent
• Real flashlight (rechargable batteries and charger)
• Stamp and pad
• Bath kit (sponges, funnel, sieve, plastic bottles of varying sizes, j-cloth, bathtub stickies, floating/sinking objects -- all packed in a mesh bag to hang for drying

PRESCHOOLERS

• Home-made doctor's kit (real stethescope for around $20., cotton, gauze, tape, syringes, notepad, pencil, mask, gloves, box of band-aids, tweezers, Q-Tips - all items can be found in medical supply, home care stores) 
• Craft kit (sewing box, 2-tierd filled with ric rac, lace, big buttons, pinecomes, toothpicks, leaves, macaroni, spiral pasta, scraps of cloth, seeds, sparkles, stickers, etc.) Include bottle of white school glue and colored construction papers, cardboard, paper plates to "decorate" / make a collage.  You can refill this kit as necessary through the year to keep interest up.
• Tool kit  - small real cottage hammer with large nails and pieces of styrofoam to "repair."
• Artist kit - sketch pad, crayons, markers, pencil crayons, etc.
• Science kit - magnifying glass, magnets, book on bugs or stars or shells, all in an interesting container with separate compartments for items to be "studied."
• New batch of homemade play dough with box of birthday candles, garlic press, toothpicks, rolling pin, plastic animals, cookie cutters.  (ask me for recipe)

ADDITIONAL ITEMS FOR FAMILY (give hints to grandparents!)

• Zoo family membership
• Heritage Park family membership
• Glenbow Museum family membership
• Coupon of free babysitting offers
• Gift certificate for Raymond Parenting Programs ($100. buys 4 email Ask Kitty questions)
• Family game or jigsaw puzzle
• Subscription to Chickadee or Owl magazines (so fun to get mail!)

Each of you will have ideas to add to this list.  Please use the comment form below, listing the idea and where/ how you purchased or made it.  Thanks from all readers!

 

 

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