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Got Some Hard-to-Solve Parenting Problems?

Posted August 7, 2011

A newborn who has no self-calming skills yet?  A toddler who "eats like a bird?" A child who hits and time-outs are not working? There are many variations on the parenting problems that drive parents crazy.  Whether it's frustration over siblings who fight, a child who hangs onto your leg in the kitchen or sleeping issues that threaten your family's balance and sanity...Raymond Parenting is here to help!

So that you can get the kind of parenting solutions you need - when you need them, I'm announcing some new dates today (and also a few restrictions on my availability, due to travel plans -- again!)

Telephone Counseling Appointments

• Wednesday August 10
• Monday, September 5
• Wednesday, September 7
• Monday, September 12
• Wednesday, September 14

Additional Telephone Counseling Appointments will be available again -- in November, 2011.

 

Raymond Seminars

• Sleep from the Start (prenatal)        Thursday, September 1, 2011
• Sleep from the Start (prenatal)        Thursday, December,  1, 2011
• Sleep from Now On (12 lbs.- 4 Years)   Tuesday, September 9, 2011
• Sleep from Now On (12 lbs. - 4 Years)  Tuesday, November 8, 2011
• Setting Healthy Limits (Discipline)        Tuesday, September 13, 2011
• Setting Healthy Limits (Discipline)        Tuesday, November 15, 2011
• Toilet Learning the Easy Way                Tuesday, November 22, 2011

"Ask Kitty" Email Questions---This valuable service will be available on a constant, regular basis through August, September, October, November, etc. 

• $25.00 Short Question (answered within 2-3 days)
• $45.00 Deluxe Question (more complex questions, more detailed answers (answered within 2-3 days)
  

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Toddler Discipline - This May Surprise You.

Posted July 24, 2011

Gwennie is 22 months old and has just slapped her mom in the face - after having reached her arms up to be picked up.  What should her mom do now?    Would Gwennie's mom  quickly get down to her child's eye level and have a "word" with her about how hitting is not polite, it hurts, and we don't hit. (hmm...this would actually be giving Gwennie attention over her misbehavior.  Smart Gwennie might soon figure out that when she wants attention again, hitting works!)

My suggestion would be very different.  See if you agree.

 

Let's take the same scenario: Gwennie reaches up to her mom to be picked up.  Her mom complies and Gwennie slaps mom's face.  Instantly, mom places Gwennie on the floor, says "No  hurting!" and turns away or walks into another room.  Gwennie will likely cry because she was startled by her mom's reaction and hitting mom wasn't fun like it used to be.  But mom isn't mad, she isn't over-talking or lecturing. Mom knows that any lecturing or explaining will be interpreted as attention by a child this age. Also, mom has moved very quickly (startlingly fast!) because she has had this strategy planned in her mind, ever since the last time it happened.

 

Children under age three  will test us repeatedly to see if they get a reaction. The longest, most eloquent lecture from a parent or caregiver - only serves to reassure the child this age that, indeed, they have found an electrically charged button to push.  Being toddlers, they are programmed to keep on pushing the buttons we offer them - until they don't work any more.  Then they will stop.

 

Only by withdrawing our attention - very obviously and very quickly - does a child NOT get a reaction worth repeating. 

 

How will Gwennie's mom know if this is working?  Next time she picks Gwennie up, we'll see if she remembers on her own, not to slap.  If she does slap again, her mom should repeat the above non-reaction.  Soon, upon being picked up by mom, Gwennie might even tell herself "no hitting" to verify her assumption and get to stay up in her mom's arms. 

 

Of course now, it's Gwennie's job to start testing Dad, and Grandma to see if they know about this new rule!  Let's hope they do!

 

Raymond Parenting on Facebook - more parenting ideas, inspiration.

 

Seminars coming right up!

Discipline - "Setting Healthy Limits for Kids Age 1-4 Years           Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Sleep from the Start (prenatal class)                                         Thursday, August 4, 2011

Sleep from Now On (12 lbs. to three Years)                                Tuesday, August 9, 2011

REGISTER

 

 

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Self-Esteem in Young Children - The PItfalls of Working Too Hard On This

Posted July 3, 2011

I've been lying on beaches and having blessed time alone and with extended family for the last two weeks. Now I'm in BC ready to do some sailing (solo with my husband Scott) for almost two more weeks. Several parents have wondered why no Telephone Consultation dates are posted during this time. Phone Consultations are available again beginning on the 18th of July.  Check here for available dates. (Looks like July 18 is fully booked already.)

Unlike parents of young parents, I've had time to read on my holiday!  There is one particular article  from The Atlantic Magazine that I'm anxious to have you read. The points made here should ring true for all of us even though much of it applies to your future efforts to raise children to be "happy" --while it applies very well to my past efforts to raise "happpy" children.  Let me know what you think about the points made in this article.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/print/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/

 

Summer Seminar Dates

July 19 Toilet Learning the Easy Way         Register Now

July 26 Setting Healthy Limits (Discipline) Register Now

August 4 Sleep From The Start                Register Now

August 9 Sleep from Now On                   Register Now

Kitty Raymond

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