Blog » What’s Wrong With the Book: Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child? Plenty!
What’s Wrong With the Book: Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child? Plenty!
Posted November 23, 2009
While Marc Weissbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is among the better books on sleep (I used to recommend it on my previous website) there are many pages I'd like to rip out! It grieves me to encounter parents who have worked for weeks on sleep guidelines as recommended in this book - yet a good night's sleep for their child and themselves is not happening . On a topic as important as sleep for babies and young children whose minds and bodies are developing so fast, there is no room for misinformation or "feel good" advice. It is completely unacceptable to state, as Weissbluth does on page 170, that a nine-month old baby might still need two feedings during the night. Demand perhaps, but need? A nine-month old has for at least 5 months been perfectly capable of taking in sufficient calories during the daytime to maintain a satisfactory place on the growth chart. To state otherwise plays with parents minds and childrens health, unfairly. (The only exception to this would be a child with unusual health issues and in that case the family would be working with their physician to make an alternate plan.)
In my office library, there are 12 popular books on sleep: Twelve Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old, the 7O'clock Bedtime, the New Contented Little Baby Book, BabyWise, Sleeping Through the Night, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, The Baby and Toddler Sleep Programme, The Self-Calmed Baby, Teach Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night, The Happiest Baby on the Block, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Calming Your Fussy Baby. I also own a few texts, among them is Principles and Practice of Pediatric Sleep Medicine.
I have read each of these books. Each one has some good ideas, followed by some bad ideas, followed by more good ideas. Some recommendations are supported by research and some are based on speculation and observation. Each one is designed to appeal to a parents' desperate desire to find an "easy" way to help their baby sleep. However, in all the books I've read there are what I call fatal flaws --recommendations which I believe can result in even more exhaustion for the family, unexpectedly long crying times, and sabbotage the baby's ability to learn self-calming skills in a timely way.
The one exception is BabyWise by Ezzo. This book has created so much controversy within the La Leche/Attachment Parenting/Breast-feeding lobby community, however, that you might need to hide it away if your public health nurse came for a visit. Even this book isn't perfect and I don't list it on my website because it too has flaws (or should I say it doesn't always agree with me!). But I really like the basic concept of "family centered parenting" as opposed to "child centered parenting." I also agree with Ezzo's concept of parent directed feeding as opposed to infant directed feeding. My favorite quote from his book is "Your decision to bottle or breast-feed should be made free of coersion or manipulation." My reason for not listing this book on my website is that his subsequent books take on religious overtones and his family structure is fairly rigid. Still, this is the book I recommend to help parents understand the value of putting a baby into bed awake and avoiding sleep crutches - from the very beginning.
All parenting books should be read with healthy skepticism, and as you attend my Sleep from the Start or Sleep from Now On seminars, I hope you'll bring that same skepticism with you. You, the parents, know your baby best and once you have collected information from a few trusted resources you'll be ready to chart your own course toward good sleep for your family. If you don't have time for a seminar, it's easy to arrange telephone and email counseling with me.
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Comments
I am a big fan of Marc Weissbluth’s book. A friend recommended this book to me after my first child was born. I had read a few others but felt they didn’t give me enough information or were really too touchy feely for me. I am also a teacher and I really connected to the part in his book about the importance of sleep for healthy brain development. I have many students at Junior High level that can’t sleep or have poor sleep patterns and it really affects their ability to concentrate and learn new material - and basically to handle all the new emotions that they are feeling at that age.
I have used his book 3 times now and have had three happy babies that started sleeping through the night between 5 and 7 months (with minimal amounts of crying). One of them was bottle fed, the other 2 breast fed. I even had to contend with a colicky baby that really disliked sleep but the point of the book that really came through to me was pick a method to get your kids to sleep, use it every night and don’t mess with their naps. My children are 6, 4 and 15 months and the house is all quiet by 8 pm and stays that way until 7:30 am. People constantly remark to me how happy my kids are, there are few tantrums and my kids rarely fall asleep in the car or stroller - their bed is for sleeping. They also didn’t use soothers as I was determined that they find their own way to soothe themselves when they woke in the middle of the night.
I’ve had a few friends that were really struggling with their children’s sleep issues at age 2 or 3 and I gave them my copy of the book and told them to stick to it for at least 2 weeks and their sleep issues were solved.
I’m sure this is not the only sleep book out there that works but I find that most often the problem is that parents are not willing to commit to their children’s need for sleep. Napping in cars and strollers while they do their errands is not good sleep. I have been home (or grandma, or dad) every afternoon for naps for the past 6 years and my 2 older children napped until they were 3 1/2 - 4 years old. If I hadn’t read Weissbluth’s book I may have missed the importance of this. You are right in saying that we know our children best but a healthy dose of education on a subject can help us to interpret our little one’s needs. I’m really glad that it only cost me $15 for a really good book!!
By Donna L. on November 27, 2009
Years ago I came to your seminars for my now nine year old (he was around 6 months)and you also, at that time, recommended this book.
I now have a 9 year old, 7 year old and 15 month old and still use that same old tattered book (along with a refresher of your seminars of course!!!!)
I still found this book hugely helpful but I must admit I did filter out anything that seemed too ‘soft’ or un-Kitty like.
I think this book has tons of useful information but agree I was surprised by a few of the suggestions and found myself thinking ‘are you kidding me?????”
Thanks for all of your help. It is great to have a resource like Raymond Parenting!
By Krista Brenner on December 9, 2009
