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Toddler Running Away

Posted August 1, 2008

Dear Kitty,

Our daughter will be turning 3 next month and she has always been a very active child. It almost seems that from the time she began to walk, she preferred to run instead! This has become a problem however, as she constantly runs away from me when we are out of the house. As well, she completely ignores my telling her to stop as she runs away (and never looks back!). Not only is this a huge safety issue for us, but it concerns me that she doesn't listen when I tell her to stop. As well, we are expecting our second child in a few months. It is becoming harder for me to chase after her and I cannot imagine how I will manage this behavior and a new baby. Currently, we still use a stroller for longer outings, but she will only sit in it for brief periods. I have never really considered a harness, but am questioning whether that is our only option. Thank you Kitty-any advice would be greatly appreciated.

It's usually not until 3.5 or older that a child starts to understand the danger involved in running away.  Until she does, it's really important to restrict her freedom a bit more than you are.

I would use a stroller even on the shorter walks for a few days, saying "Someday soon you will be able to stop running too far but until then, it's important to be in the stroller.  It's OK if you need to be mad."  This gives her something to work toward and try to remember, and when she is ready to keep that promise, you can give her another chance.

Buckle her in well enough that she has no choice but to sit, happy or not, and gradually she'll accept the new restraints.

This isn't really a listening problem as much as it is an under-age expectation for this amount of self-control.

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