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Throwing Food 2
Posted April 20, 2009
Hi Kitty,
My daughter (who is close to 18 months now) has always thrown things. Her food, her toys, her sippy ... you name it. Now, I feel like she should be past this phase (or at least getting there) but it seems it is getting worse. She launches her sippy and gets close to breaking things, she always throws her food, and our dog is starting to get over-fed! When I tell her "no", she just gets mad and throws more. I eventually take all her food away, and only give her little bits at a time, but that is also frustrating. What can we do to help stop this?
Throwing will stop most quickly if purposefully ignored. She is doing it to get a reaction (it works!) so the reactions have to stop. Put the dog away during her meals. Keep her sippy cup on the counter and give it to her when she asks, and then put it back on the counter until the day comes when she realizes if she throws it it goes into the fridge. You needn't comment on that, just do it and let her fuss.
Throwing food is a sign she isn't really hungry and the meal needs to end. Saying "NO" simply makes it more interesting for her. If the food is going over, ignore the food, but end the meal saying "It looks like you are done." Get her down, even kicking and screaming, and ignore all that. Pick up the food in a few minutes.
Next meal you may observe (from the corner of your eye, only) that she does not throw as much. If she does, end the meal again, without any big reaction on your part.
Don't allow any more food until the next scheduled meal. She'll survive and she'll slowly be learning a new rhythm.
When she throws toys, try not to see and not to react. The fun of doing it will gradually disappear for her - since nobody will be watching.
Filed under: Discipline, Feeding and Eating
Comments
Hi,
Thank you for your help a year or so ago when we called about our 1 year old. Now we have 2 and they are both great sleepers. Now that I think of it, we called you a few months ago about our second child too.
I am writing to ask, if as a subscriber, I can still ask a question, for free.
If so: here is my question: It relates to throwing. Our 2 year old, 2 years and 2 months actually, often throws things and hits when we say no. When do I ignore, when is a time out most appropriate. My fear is that he will never be able to gracefully hear “no”.
Thank you,
E
By elizabeth Flanagan Diamond on June 16, 2009
Throwing and hitting by your two-year old when he feels mad at you (because you said “no”) is normal behavior, believe it or not. The very best way for you to respond is to purposefully ignore the behavior by averting your eyes, walking away and in all ways discontinuing all attention immediately. If instead, you respond by saying “no throwing” you’ll simply make the act of throwing even more interesting and probably get more of it.:(
In general, while “no” may be a toddler’s favorite word to say to you, we should not expect them to hear it from us - gracefully - for another year or so.
Kitty
By Kitty on June 27, 2009
