The Picky Eater -- A New Perspective

Blog » The Picky Eater—A New Perspective

The Picky Eater—A New Perspective

Posted May 1, 2011

It is rare these days to hear of a toddler who eats really, really well. I wonder if this is due to a generational change in the eating behavior of kids age 1 to 4 years or if it a product of higher parental expectations. The "Clean Plate Club" many parents remember from their own childhood seems to be seen as a negative - to be avoided - by today's parents but maybe it has simply taken on a new face.

It is rare these days to hear of a toddler who eats really, really well. I wonder if this is due to a generational change in the eating behavior of kids from about 1 to 4 years or if it a product of higher parental expectations. The "Clean Plate Club" many parents remember from their own childhood seems to be seen as a negative - to be avoided - by today's parents but maybe it has simply taken on a new face.

Higher parental expectations? It is interesting to note that charts and "guidelines" posted and promoted at health clinics actually recommend a certain number of tablespoons of various kinds of food to be offered in a certain order to every child over 6 months. The amounts increase according to age, of course, and the recommendations can easily give a parent the impression that 3 solid meals a day are required at an early age and that the challenges of vegetables, fruit and meat are just around the corner.

It is possible, but I would like to hear from you so I can be sure, that parents are left with the impression early on that their baby's birth weight, post-natal weight gain and toddler eating habits are urgent concerns causing some parents who fear they may be judged, to try to get their child to eat more than the child's appetite actually dictates.

The research behind starting solid food and feeding toddlers and preschoolers stresses that parents should be relaxed and respectful of their child's tastes and appetite from day to day. Young children become very aware of colors, smells and texture of food and they also can detect if there is parental pressure to eat. They learn this when someone hovers over them, watching, coaxing or playing games to get them to eat more. The pressure usually results in the child dreading mealtimes and actually eating less in the long run.

There are some resources available to you if you feel stress over how much your child eats. I suggest the Ellen Satter book How to Get Your Child To Eat But Not Too Much. Also, I welcome Telephone Counseling appointments (45 minutes) on the subject of feeding toddlers and preschoolers. You and I will study the list of foods your child will eat willingly and make up a meal plan that takes into account your concerns and your child's nutritional needs. I'll help you gain insight into designing an eating environment so your child will grow up with a healthy relationship with food.

Dr. T. Berry Brazelton's magic menu for daily toddler survival: 2 pints of milk, 2 ounces of protein with iron, a little fruit and 1 multi-vitamin!

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(2) comments

Filed under: Feeding and Eating

Comments

I was much more stringent with my first son than I am now that I have 2 young boys (4 and 2). I was a picky eater as a child and to this day I remember having arguments with my parents about eating my mashed potatoes. They just couldn’t understand that the texture made me gag. At some point in my young life I got past the texture issue on my own and now mashed potatoes are one of my favorite foods.

The thing I find most challenging about feeding my children today is helping them to determine when they’re hungry before they get too hungry (which often leads to the over hungry meltdown). They often get so involved in what they’re doing/playing that they’re ‘too busy’ to take a break and have a snack and then once they’re at the point of too hungry, it’s near impossible to get anything into them because they’re angry and irritable. (I’m told this could be a boy thing and to expect it to be this way for years). Also, trying to determine when to offer snacks as to not completely derail a meal time is a challenge. I’ll admit that sometimes I give my child a handful of goldfish crackers as a cereal precursor just to avoid the argument over whether he’s going to eat any breakfast at all.

By times, all my first son wants is a plate of plain pasta while the second wants a plate of meat. All I can say is - ‘to each his own’. It’s a learning experience and everyday I try to work on trusting my children’s bodies to determine what and when they need food so as to not make it a horrible experience.

By M. on May 2, 2011

We followed suggested guidelines by health canada on portions of food, but we never ‘forced’ our kids to clean their plates. We look at meal times as it’s our job (parents) to offer the food to you, and it is up to you (child) to eat it. We offered balanced 3 meals plus 2 snacks per day. Sometimes the plate was clean, sometimes it wasn’t. Sometimes we needed more snacks, sometimes we didn’t.

Our oldest we figured was going to be a vegetarian because she would not eat meat. She did as an infant when we fed it to her but once she was able to feed herself she would not eat it! She is now three and eating “animal meat” except burger, she still hates it, it “makes her tongue sick”. Whatever we figure.

Our children gained 1lb/m since the day they were born. With our first doctors/nurses left us be. With our second (and new dr) she was more worried although we weren’t. It was the same pattern and our second is a garbage can! Finally the doctor has listened and is not concerned anymore. We have little girls but they eat, and they eat well. They are high energy as well.

We hope they will not have worries about their weight later in life because hopefully they have no weird associations with food and it’s consumption.

Oh… we also NEVER say, “oh you won’t like that”, “you didn’t like it last time are you sure you want to try that again”. We always offered over and over and over again, if they ate great, if they didn’t they didn’t. We also fed them stuff we don’t enjoy so as not to impose our dislikes on them.

By Meagan Hughes on May 2, 2011

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