Blog » Slow Parenting - Let’s Take a Look
Slow Parenting - Let’s Take a Look
Posted September 18, 2011
"Leisure" by W. H. Davies
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
All my adult life I've been attracted to the concepts of slowing down, the practice of voluntary simplicity, protecting thinking time and understanding the value of daydreaming. My daily life, however, inevitably speeds up the moment I look the other way.I often am attracted to and sometimes very excited by fast food, fast money, fast travel ("A weekend in Madrid!"), etc. I want my computer connection to be fast; I have an iphone; when I want to be entertained I expect to download the right movie right NOW and if we want to barbeque frozen steaks tonight I need them to THAW IMMEDIATELY on the correct microwave setting.
Still, I always come back to the appeal of slow. The Slow Food Movement has great appeal for it's many followers and practitioners and I've recently become aware of the Slow Home Movement , right here in Calgary - can't wait to go! 
, and the Slow Movement which covers travel, cities, books, food and money.
Since 1983 when I founded the Infant Resource Center which is now Raymond Parenting, I have watched children's lives speed up. Babies now spend a lot of time in their carseat, driving to Gymborie, music or swim classes. I see toddlers joining playgroups or registered early for preschool so they can hurry to become better socialized. There are baby jogging groups, baby yoga groups and pottery classes for 3 year olds. Occasionally, I hear from a parent who feels she has a discipline problem because her 2.5 year old wants to grab the musical instruments instead of waiting for her turn in music class. I know there are four an five year olds playing soccer and parents who say "But he loves it!"
It is not my intention to lecture or chastise parents who are simply following the parenting styles of all the other parents they know. Who wants to have the only child who hasn't learned to skate or swim by age four? Who wants to stay home with a bored child who constantly begs to go to the park."
In my next few blogs and on the Raymond Parenting News facebook page, I'll be quoting some of you who I hope will write with your own stories of a fast or slow childhood. What were your experiences and how do they compare to your child's experiences right now. How hard is it to arrange for your child's childhood to evolve more slowly. And are you and your spouse in agreement about a philosophy of slower parenting and slower chlldhoods. What would you like to see changed in our parenting society.
"Childhood: the state of being a child." (free online dictionary)
Raymond Parenting Services in October
Believe it or not I'm taking October off from teaching seminars so I can "stand and stare" like the sheep and cows. We are going to take a leisurly road trip to Vancouver Island, Nanaimo to visit our daughter, and of course we have to check out our sailboat in Sidney. Here are the Raymond Parenting dates for the next 6-8 weeks:
This service is constantly available because I remain 'connected' wherever i am. ($45. Deluxe $25. Short Answer. My answer comes in 2-3 days)
I am availble for prearranged Telephone Counseling appointments on the following dates through October:
Monday, September 19 and Wednesday September 20
Monday, October 17 and Wednesday October 19
Monday, October 24 and Wednesday, October 26
November on most Mondays and Wednesdays -- in other words, back to normal.
Sleep from the Start (prenatal) Thursday December 1 (not held Oct. or November)
Sleep from Now On (12 lbs to 3 yrs) Tuesday November 8
Setting Healthy Limits (Discipline) Tuesday, November 15
Toilet Learning the Easy Way Tuesday, November 22
'
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Comments
I love this blog.
I sometimes wonder if we have chosen the ‘right’ parenting style because almost all of the other parents around me are in classes and heavy into socializing their kids. I worry on occassion that my child IS missing out.
I realize though that this is the right parenting style for us. That I truly believe in my gut that my son having good sleeping habits and eating well are more important than hurrying him along to get to the next playdate or class or whatever.
So thank you for the reinforcement of these ideals. I truly value the support.
From Kitty:
I understand that it can be isolating to be raising a child at a “gentle” speed, these days. I hope you can stay true to your own beliefs and know that you are modeling a style of parenting that could become very attractive to some other parents. Good job!
By Tanya on September 19, 2011
Hip hip hurray! It is so good to hear just good old common sense sometimes. Thank you Kitty for advocating for the right of children to just be children.
I have also found it difficult practice “slow parenting”—lol. When I explain myself to people who are interested they sometimes look at me like I’m a complete nutcase.
There are less than 2,000 days before our children start school. I just want each and every one to be filled with fort-buiding, reading, block-stacking, and singing and colouring—at home, with me. I feel these days are precious and I can’t imagine wasting them driving around to a bunch of ridiculous and useless “classes”. I’d rather see my children dancing to our own silly songs than being taught how to dance by someone at some studio.
However, I am definitely the only one of my group of friends who is like this, and so it sometimes feels as if I am the only one on the planet.
Kitty’s Comment
You are so right - parents have been given the impression (by those who market the classes) that babies and toddlers need constant activity in order to learn and have fun. In fact, young kids do their best learning when allowed to follow their curiosity and make discoveries.
By Jules D on September 20, 2011
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