Blog » Picky Eating and Mealtimes

Picky Eating and Mealtimes

Posted February 20, 2009

Dear Kitty,

Our two-year old son is a very picky eater.  We try to make him eat with us but he says he isn't hungry and misbehaves at the table.  My husband is especially concerned that we eat dinner together as a family (we also have a 4 year old who eats well), so my son's resistance is causing a lot of stress. Our day home provider says he eats just fine for her, which is also frustrating.  He only wants to eat toast, kiwi and yogurt.  Oh, and he loves noodles (plain).  What can we do to get him to be a better eater and stay at the table with the family?

You may be dealing with two issues here.  First is the issue of the supper time meal being especially problematic with behavior issues, etc.  It's a good idea to think back on what your son has eaten all through the day.  If he has had a reasonable breakfast (most kids do if they had milk first...) and has eaten pretty well at the day home, it's very possible he simply isn't hungry at supper time.  He may have already taken in the calories he requires for good growth and development that day and has no appetite left.  It's really hard to sit still and eat when you aren't hungry.

The other issue is that toddlers usually do not prefer to have a large variety of foods (even though nutritionists wish they would) and often get stuck on certain things they will eat - to the exclusion of everything else.  Of course then, just when you've bought 10 kiwis on sale, they become the refused food and he may only want carrots.  Parents are wise to go with the flow of these food jags and look more at whether your son has tasted all the food groups through the year instead of through each day or week. If so, you've done a good job!

Seldom do food issues result in weight loss, so I suggest at dinner time you ring a bell to let everyone know that food is on the table if they are interested and then go ahead and enjoy your own meal without counting heads.  If someone comes up later saying they are hungry, you can serve small amounts of what you served for dinner.  Do not worry that because of not eating dinner he will wake up from hunger during the night.  He may wake up but it will be from habit rather than hunger.  When he says he isn't hungry, we must believe him and allow his stomach to remain empty until morning...time for a good breakfast.

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