Blog » Family Mealtimes - Pleasure or Disaster?
Family Mealtimes - Pleasure or Disaster?
Posted March 18, 2010
Some parents of very young children wonder why the picture of the "family mealtime" looks so different at their house. It seems the harder they try, the worse the outcome. I've given this a lot of thought lately and I think I know what goes wrong. See if you agree and drop me a comment if you have further thoughts on this.
From the age of about three years on, I think family mealtimes have merrit and are worth pursuing -- on the nights when the stars align. On other nights, without guilt, you simply feed kids when they need to be fed with an eye toward bedtime, not worrying that you are letting anyone down by not sitting down as a family. Generally by the time children are 3,4 and 5 years they are able to understand both the pleasure and the expectations that come when the whole family eats together, when it is convenient.
Children who are not yet three years will be more erratic in their ability to sit still, not interrupt, listen and wait their turn. Children this age often need to go back and forth -coming for a bite then off to pick up a car and back for another bite. When parents are stressed by this I usually try to remind them that this is developmentally appropriate and allowing some flexibility but not commenting or giving the child attention, makes for a calmer time around the table.
Filed under: Feeding and Eating
Comments
This makes sense to me. Our son is nearly two years old and his eating patterns have not quite settled. He is easily engaged when other things are going on around the dinner table so for now, we keep it simple and we have few expectations. It seems to help. If he eats, great, if not, oh well, there’s tomorrow. The less stress we feel, the less stress he feels. I hope we can maintain this until he develops into a more “sophisticated” eater.
By Alexandra on March 19, 2010
Thanks for this latest post Kitty. Our son, who was once a very good eater, has suddenly gone on a “hunger strike” of sorts, and is far more interested in playing and painting then eating. I’ve found myself frustrated and exasperated by dinner time due to his sudden lack of interest in food, and it has made meal time anything but a pleasant experience! This was a great reminder about “healthy expectations” regarding dinner time and a 20 month old.. so thanks again for your words of wisdom.
By Nicole Segstro on March 20, 2010
We have something cooking all day and we have people eating all day, the kitchen is definitely a hot spot in our house. My older kids are learning to cook and because of this, the younger kids get to try a variety of dishes all day long. Today we had chocolate chip pancakes, carrot juice, blueberry cookies, cheese croquets, whole grain biscuits from scratch and applesauce smoothies. I can’t imagine policing what my kids eat, or judging their eating habits as “good or bad” No human will knowingly starve themselves and it’s impossible to know if someone else is hungry or not. Food is fuel, our kitchen is a playground, not a battleground.
By LisaRussell.org on April 10, 2010
This post couldn’t have come at a better time. Tonight I was lamenting to my husband that it’s difficult to have a family dinner every evening. Our eight-month old goes to bed around 8 p.m., however many evenings my husband and I go for a run with her. By the time we get home, she needs to be fed so we can keep her bedtime routine on schedule. Often we don’t have time to prepare our full dinner and eat with her, so I turn to the homemade baby food I have frozen and thaw and feed her while my husband makes our dinner. I was feeling guilty and trying to figure out how to meet our fitness goals and still keep her on her schedule. Thanks for the info - you are right Kitty: rarely can we all eat together anyway. Usually if we sit down for a meal together, one of us is feeding the baby while our food gets cold.
By Tamara on June 15, 2010
