Blog
Why Aren’t Babies Sleeping?
Posted January 11, 2010
Why do so many babies have sleep problems? This is a relatively recent phenomenon, in my opinion, and differs markedly from what I observed 10 or 15 years ago. What's up?
If I had to make an educated guess as to the cause of this wave of sleep disorders, I would put the blame straight on the backs of well-intentioned but overly zealous breastfeed acvocates.
Many times parents, upon leaving the hospital with their baby, are made to sign papers testifying that they have been given advice on the benefits of breast-feeding and have heard instructions such as the following:
- Feed your baby every 2 hours around the clock
- Wake up your baby to feed if it is sleeping
- Answer all signs of infant stress/crying with the breast
- Your baby is too young to be sleep trained.
- Some babies don't need as much sleep
- It all depends on the baby
- Whenever your baby cries, she is calling for help. You should answer every time or you might interfere with attachment.
- It is easier to have a secure attachment with a breast-fed baby than with a bottle-fed baby.
- Crying is harmful to attachment
Obviously, some parents are going to find it scary NOT to follow the above admonitions. What happens then is that very often, a baby who might well have been born to be a good sleeper is awakened so often she becomes conditioned to short sleeps and expects to be fed constantly. The people pushing breast-milk production (the reasonsometimes given for the above rules) are not seeing the wider picture. The overall health and well-being of a newborn depends on being fed and getting good sleep. How the baby is fed should in no way override the baby's need for sleep and the encouragement of good sleep skills.
Let me be clear - breast-feeding is a very healthy way to feed a baby and carries obvious benefits. But exclusive breast-feeding can be established and fit very nicely into a schedule and routine that is also designed around good sleep.
Babies have not changed. The mainstream, peer reviewed research on how much milk a newborn needs for good growth and development has not changed. What has changed is that breast-feeding has become a "cause" to which many people and health regions are obsessively devoted. Pre-natal class instructors, public health clinic nurses and some of the thousands of newly-minted breast-feeding consultants are on this band-wagon. And of course parenting books, authors, and marketers have happily joined in this campaign.
Things are out of balance for parents right now who are trying to do the best by their baby, look after good sleep and find a spot of harmony with which to carry on. When parents were allowed to make their own informed, educated choices about feeding their baby and follow their intuition towards good sleep, I didn't see this amount of anguish, confusion and stress.
Do you have an opinion on this? Feel free to write your comments/stories, below.
Filed under: Feeding and Eating, Sleep
A Clever Nightlight!
Posted November 17, 2009
Yesterday I learned about goodnitelite.com. Here you can purchase a nightlight which shines like a moon from bedtime on, until the time parents set to be breakfast time - when the nightlite glows to a sun. Now her child knows he can get up and call or come out of his room. I love this idea and it will work for children who can't yet read a clock. In fact she has two of them and is going to experiment with using one at naptime, too.
Please let me know if you have this product and how it works for you.
Filed under: Product Reviews, Sleep
In parenting, how you say it really counts
Posted September 22, 2009
"Oops, it looks like you forgot the no hurting rule."
"If you throw sand again, we will go home."
"You have a very smart body. Your body knows when to pee and when to go poo and it always feels better after that."
"Here we are at preschool. What do you need to remember today." (no pushing/no grabbing)
"It's OK if you need to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep faster.
"It can be hard going to bed but your smart body knows when it's tired. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."
"It looks like you aren't hungry right now. I'll put your plate away and you can let me know if you want it back a little later."
"It's cold outside today. Do you want to wear your jacket or have it in the bag? It's your choice."
"I know! Sometimes our hands just don't want to share. But you are in charge of your hands, so you can help them remember."
"It's time to go inside. Do you want to walk or shall I carry you?"
"Every day it will get easier for you to remember that rule."
"I know it's hard to go to bed wometimes but your smart body knows when it is tired. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."
"It's really important for the door to stay closed (locked) all night long in order to keep you safe. I'll open it at breakfast time."
"It's OK to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep sooner.
" You are doing a really good job."
Filed under: Discipline, Daily Routines, Feeding and Eating, Sleep, Toilet Learning
