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Attachment Parenting: To Sleep or Not to Sleep?

Posted May 6, 2012

Following the philosophy of Attachment Parenting needn't interfere with a parent's ability to help their baby learn to be a good sleeper. There are ways to do both.

The most important step a parent can take toward helping your baby learn to sleep well begins with simply putting your baby down - awake - and  giving her time for and practice in getting herself to sleep.  Doing this from the very beginning is one ideal way to  help your baby learn to self-regulate.

Your baby bases everything on her primary relationship. As soon as an early relationship with you is activated, she'll use you to help her self-regulate. She'll learn to regulate her sleep/awake times, hunger/fullness and her whole spectrum of emotions - based on this all-important primary relationship. When she is happy she'll see that reflected in your steady, confident response. When she is angry or sad, she will be looking to you for that same steady, confident demeanor.

Being consistent about feeding for hunger and avoiding feeding to sleep helps your baby get acquainted with the signals she is receiving from her body.  She'll know how to signal hunger and fullness to you and she'll learn how to take herself from an awake state to a state of sleep. 

Caring for your baby this way will support her self esteem and growing competence, allowing her to have the best possible start in life. 

 

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Filed under: Feeding and Eating, Sleep

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When Naps Are Still a Challenge

Posted January 12, 2012

Even after successful night sleep training, naps can remain problematic for a baby or toddler and, hence, - for parents.  If only we could tell these young kids that naps play a vital role in providing them with energy and curiosity to bring to their playtimes, helping them make it gracefully to the end of the day and in helping them spend an easier night sleeping.  The better the naps, the better the nights.

Toddlers around age 2.5 years are notorious for trying to convince the parent that they do not need naps any more.  For several days they may play or protest throughout the entire nap, convincing themselves and parents that naps are a bad idea.  Parents should not be swayed.  The best practice is to continue to put your child down  by 12:30 PM and plan for a break of two hours.  You are not in charge of whether your child sleeps or not, only that you are following practices of routine and regularity (same every day). Most likely your toddler will return to accepting the nap in just a few days.  Continuing with this practice even after the 3rd birthday provides an opportunity for sleep or, if by then no sleep is needed, a chance for quiet play and a routine that still includes a good break for you.

A new study on the effects of toddlers not napping has just been released from the University of Colorado.  Take a look.

 

Next Sleep from Now On seminar: Tuesday, February 7, 2012

 

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Baby Refuses to Nap?—Five Tips for Better Naps

Posted August 22, 2011

Naps are important. Most parents will agree that naps are not optional -- though it's hard to convince some babies of that! All young babies and toddlers require consolidated, refreshing daytime sleep just as they require good nighttime sleep. When a baby misses a nap or only takes  cat-naps  the result is a fussy, hard to settle baby who seems always hungry but may only want to suck it's way back to sleep for another cat-nap.  Your toddler may become cranky, have a short fuse, and want to be carried constantly.  The whole family's balance is affected when a baby won't nap or a toddler stays awake all day.  Exhaustion for everyone!

Self-Regulation  Think of your napping efforts as helping your baby learn to self-regulate. The ability to self-regulate is a lifetime skill.  This skill enables babies, toddlers and children to know when they are hungry and know when they are full. Self-regulation means avoiding overstimulation, knowing when your body is tired, and knowing how to get oneself to sleep independently.  It also allows a baby to learn to stay asleep for a refreshing length of time.  Learning the art of self-regulate is hard work for some babies. Knowing the importance of this, however, will give parents the courage to step back -- and allow the child the privacy they need to master this skill.

 

Five Tips for Better Naps

1. Keep the bedroom cool. Room temperature for optimum sleep is 17-18'.  Clever use of fans will help you maintain a cool temperature during naptimes. 
2. Allow the child freedom to cry.  Allow your baby/child the freedom to cry when she needs to, to get to sleep or get back to sleep. Crying is a very effective tool your baby uses to get rid of gas and to calm themselves.
3. Put your child down for a nap 15 minutes earlier than usual.  Some babies become overtired very quickly without even yawning or rubbing eyes.  They should already be in bed while they still feel good instead of waiting until the fussiness starts.  This allows them to go to bed and then gradually come sleepy. 
4. Have a short nap routine.  Diaper change, read one book or sing one song while in the child's room, then put child to bed fully awake (not "drowsy but awake" as many books would recommend). Leave and stay out.
5. Leave your child in bed for most of two hours.  Even if a wake-up happens, leave it up to your child to talk or cry in their effort to get back to sleep and finish off the nap.

If your baby or toddler continues to resist taking well-timed naps, I can help.  Book a Telephone Counseling appointment with me in September.  See available dates below.

 

Raymond Parenting Services

Seminars

• Sleep from the Start (prenatal)      Thursday September 1,
  
• Sleep from Now On                            Tuesday, September 6
• Setting Healthy Limits                        Tuesday, September 13   (Discipline seminar)
  

Telephone Counseling

Use this link to see available appointment times ($130/55 minute session, plus email follow-up)

"Ask Kitty" Email Question

• Short question $25.00
• Detailed question $45.00

 

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