Blog
It’s September 1st Already?
Posted September 1, 2010
I can remember how happy I was as a young mother, when September rolled around and school would start again. Our summers were usually fine and fun but they involved lots of travel to visit with grandparents, with us wondering how our kids would sleep and how they would deal with higher expectations at the dinner table. Then there were the taxing efforts on my part to show our relatives what perfect children we were raising. And for me, all the adjustments that come with long, open-ended days.
I longed for the return to regularity and predictabiity. Once our trips were over and day camps finished, "we" could start back to school! I looked forward to getting my children's clothes ready for the year, in spite of the inevitable disagreements over how much of last year's wardrobe was still usable. New lunchboxes and backpacks! I even looked forward to the first newsletter of the year, telling parents about dates, deadlines and curriculum, etc.
I'm known as the planner in the family, for better or worse. I'ts "for worse" for my husband and one of our daughters both of whom (in my opinion) prefer to be surprised by what the date is tomorrow, let alone have a discussion about what they'll be doing next week. My other daughter is not planning-averse, but will often tell me outright that she doesn't want to talk about that right now. At that point, I guess my only friend is my calendar.
The calendar does march on, however, even if I'm the only one watching. We just returned from two weeks sailing here and there around Vancouver Island. I knew as I got off the plane last night that summer was over (and it wasn't just the weather). Routines begin again and I've turned all 3 of my calendars over to September. Suddenly, it's "back to work" for me, with 4 parenting seminars this month.
I've packed this month so full partly because I took time off this summer, but also because - much to my surprise and pleasure - we'll be in Europe during the full month of October. Well, not really to my surprise, since I've been working on this trip for nearly a year - books out of the library, online bookmarks, flats rented, ferries booked and Eurorail tickets purchased. Still, I'm surprised the time is now so near.
So September is a very important month for you and me. I want to be sure that during the month of September, you have easy access to all the parenting help and understanding you need in the areas of getting off to the best possible start in life with your newborn (Sept.2), ensuring that your older baby/child knows how to put him/herself to sleep for naps and at night and is capable of staying asleep for a lengthy period of time(Sept. 7), that those little discipline issues that have developed over the summer are addressed quickly and fairly (Sept. 14) and that you are aware of the appropriate developmental expectations with which to approach toilet training - slowly (Sept. 28). Register.
Just in case you can't make a seminar but really need the information, please book a Telephone Counseling Appointment for any Monday in September. You and I will talk about any of these topics --with particular reference to your situation with your child. If you have just a short question, consider sending an Ask Kitty email question, any time in September.
During October, when I am away, I'll still be answering Ask Kitty email questions from wherever I am! If you have a l o n g e r question or larger problem, all you need to do is purchase 2 questions.
I would love to hear from you about your summer-ending and what this time of year feels like for you.
Cheers,
Kitty Raymond
Filed under: Interesting Parenting Matters
CBC Ideas - The Hurried Infant
Posted April 25, 2010
I've just finished listening to Part 1 and Part 2 of The Hurried Infant. I think it's an outstanding program and I urge you to find the time to listen. Much of the philosophy behind what I've been teaching for over 25 years is based on the type of research this program tells us about. Turns out it's not just babies who are being hurried -- babies these days have very hurried parents. Listenng to this program just might help you feel more relaxed as a parent, particularly on the subject of choosing the "right" preschool and early reading.
Note: two of the women we listen to in the 2nd half have irritating ways of speaking. So try to "purposefully ignore" that irritation and still hear what they have to say.
Here is the CBC Ideas link.
Filed under: News from Kitty, Interesting Parenting Matters
Hot-Button Issues Pit Parent Against Parent
Posted March 22, 2010
Once a pregnancy is confirmed, many parents-to-be expect to have an easy entry into what they might think of as the Parenting Club. Lots of their friends already have children and now there should be so much to talk about together!
Sadly, they may be disappointed. Many parents find that instead of one large, supportive Club, as they expected, there are dozens of small, exclusive, narrowly focused "clubs", some with daunting membership requirements.
There is the VBAC Club for parents who advocate vaginal births following a previous cesarean birth. Pamphlets, donations and "efforts to get the word out" dominate these club meetings. WARNING: Should you end up having a 2nd cesarean birth, you can't belong...there is no Club for you, as far as I know.
The No-Circumcision Club is obviously exclusively for parents against circumcision. These meetings are very large and loud these days (there was even a televised debate on Fox News), and members must enter through the north door to avoid meeting up with the much smaller, quieter Pro-Circumcision Club.
The XYZ Best Birthing Class Club meets on a different night from the ABC Best Birthing Class Club. When members meet up accidentally in a baby products store, there is much comparison of advice and philosophy --usually with one of the Clubs looking like the better choice.
The Home Birth Club meets on a different night from the Hospital Birth Club, in order to avoid discussion altogether.
The Breast-Feeding Club is a large, vocal club to which everyone must belong immediately after birth. You are automatically voted in, sometimes without your knowledge or permission. Members are given large flags to carry and ID badges to wear. This Club meets anywhere and everywhere. Many people stay members for a year or more - but for those who do not, there is a "sub-club" called the Bottle Feeding Club. This sort of an underground club and members meet much more quietly and don't keep minutes. No flags. No ID badges.
The Attachment Parenting Club and the Conventional Parenting Club live in vastly different worlds. Many Conventional Parenting Club members aren't aware they are even in a club, nor have they heard of the AP Club (Many AP Club members are working hard to remedy this problem.) The AP Club advocates long-term breastfeeding (up to 3 years), baby-wearing (see how-to videos on utube), family sleeping arrangements and home schooling. The William Sears corporation leads and inspires the AP Club. The AP Club occasionally sprouts radical club branches with thorns that are intended to provoke nasty fights with regular AP Club members. On the other hand, the Conventional Parenting Club members don't hold formal meetings and have no particular guru, to speak of.
Other parenting issues around which new Clubs may be forming as I write, include:
- homemade baby food vs commercially made baby food
- sleep training for babies vs babies will sleep better some day, somehow but shouldn't ever cry.
- babies need sign language vs signing to babies is unnecessary
- early toilet training vs child-led toilet training
To tell the truth, I am disturbed by the divisiveness these issues and others are creating amongst parents. False pride, competitiveness and proselytizing only serve to make the most imortant job in the world - that much harder to do.
I hope YOU will weigh in on whether you perceive this negative dynamic in your own parenting life. What are your thoughts on how we got here? Are there Clubs out there I don't even know about? Is it hard to find like-minded parents to fit with your style of parenting?
NOTE: All pro and con comments will be published providing they do not include profanities, rude comments or verbal threats to any person, philosophy or organization.
Filed under: Interesting Parenting Matters
