Blog
In parenting, how you say it really counts
Posted September 22, 2009
"Oops, it looks like you forgot the no hurting rule."
"If you throw sand again, we will go home."
"You have a very smart body. Your body knows when to pee and when to go poo and it always feels better after that."
"Here we are at preschool. What do you need to remember today." (no pushing/no grabbing)
"It's OK if you need to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep faster.
"It can be hard going to bed but your smart body knows when it's tired. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."
"It looks like you aren't hungry right now. I'll put your plate away and you can let me know if you want it back a little later."
"It's cold outside today. Do you want to wear your jacket or have it in the bag? It's your choice."
"I know! Sometimes our hands just don't want to share. But you are in charge of your hands, so you can help them remember."
"It's time to go inside. Do you want to walk or shall I carry you?"
"Every day it will get easier for you to remember that rule."
"I know it's hard to go to bed wometimes but your smart body knows when it is tired. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."
"It's really important for the door to stay closed (locked) all night long in order to keep you safe. I'll open it at breakfast time."
"It's OK to cry because crying will actually help you fall asleep sooner.
" You are doing a really good job."
Filed under: Discipline, Daily Routines, Feeding and Eating, Sleep, Toilet Learning
Three R’s for Good Sleep
Posted August 6, 2009
In my new book The Manual - Birth to 3 Months, I stress that babies gain a sense of security when their Routines are predictable and will come to rely on the Regularity of a consistant schedule. Reduction of stimulation is the final key to helping your baby learn self-calming skills.
Stimulation -just the right amount and no more - is already provided during feedings, diaper changes and short, cuddley playtimes. Don't believe the marketing ploys designed to make you buy brightly colored products to hang all around your baby's environment. In fact, over-stimulation is a common cause of sleep deprivation in newborns.
The Manual - Good for parents, Great for babies! Download your copy today (ebook).
Filed under: Daily Routines, Feeding and Eating, News from Kitty, Sleep
Throwing Food 2
Posted April 20, 2009
Hi Kitty,
My daughter (who is close to 18 months now) has always thrown things. Her food, her toys, her sippy ... you name it. Now, I feel like she should be past this phase (or at least getting there) but it seems it is getting worse. She launches her sippy and gets close to breaking things, she always throws her food, and our dog is starting to get over-fed! When I tell her "no", she just gets mad and throws more. I eventually take all her food away, and only give her little bits at a time, but that is also frustrating. What can we do to help stop this?
Throwing will stop most quickly if purposefully ignored. She is doing it to get a reaction (it works!) so the reactions have to stop. Put the dog away during her meals. Keep her sippy cup on the counter and give it to her when she asks, and then put it back on the counter until the day comes when she realizes if she throws it it goes into the fridge. You needn't comment on that, just do it and let her fuss.
Throwing food is a sign she isn't really hungry and the meal needs to end. Saying "NO" simply makes it more interesting for her. If the food is going over, ignore the food, but end the meal saying "It looks like you are done." Get her down, even kicking and screaming, and ignore all that. Pick up the food in a few minutes.
Next meal you may observe (from the corner of your eye, only) that she does not throw as much. If she does, end the meal again, without any big reaction on your part.
Don't allow any more food until the next scheduled meal. She'll survive and she'll slowly be learning a new rhythm.
When she throws toys, try not to see and not to react. The fun of doing it will gradually disappear for her - since nobody will be watching.
Filed under: Discipline, Feeding and Eating
