Blog
It’s September 1st Already?
Posted September 1, 2010
I can remember how happy I was as a young mother, when September rolled around and school would start again. Our summers were usually fine and fun but they involved lots of travel to visit with grandparents, with us wondering how our kids would sleep and how they would deal with higher expectations at the dinner table. Then there were the taxing efforts on my part to show our relatives what perfect children we were raising. And for me, all the adjustments that come with long, open-ended days.
I longed for the return to regularity and predictabiity. Once our trips were over and day camps finished, "we" could start back to school! I looked forward to getting my children's clothes ready for the year, in spite of the inevitable disagreements over how much of last year's wardrobe was still usable. New lunchboxes and backpacks! I even looked forward to the first newsletter of the year, telling parents about dates, deadlines and curriculum, etc.
I'm known as the planner in the family, for better or worse. I'ts "for worse" for my husband and one of our daughters both of whom (in my opinion) prefer to be surprised by what the date is tomorrow, let alone have a discussion about what they'll be doing next week. My other daughter is not planning-averse, but will often tell me outright that she doesn't want to talk about that right now. At that point, I guess my only friend is my calendar.
The calendar does march on, however, even if I'm the only one watching. We just returned from two weeks sailing here and there around Vancouver Island. I knew as I got off the plane last night that summer was over (and it wasn't just the weather). Routines begin again and I've turned all 3 of my calendars over to September. Suddenly, it's "back to work" for me, with 4 parenting seminars this month.
I've packed this month so full partly because I took time off this summer, but also because - much to my surprise and pleasure - we'll be in Europe during the full month of October. Well, not really to my surprise, since I've been working on this trip for nearly a year - books out of the library, online bookmarks, flats rented, ferries booked and Eurorail tickets purchased. Still, I'm surprised the time is now so near.
So September is a very important month for you and me. I want to be sure that during the month of September, you have easy access to all the parenting help and understanding you need in the areas of getting off to the best possible start in life with your newborn (Sept.2), ensuring that your older baby/child knows how to put him/herself to sleep for naps and at night and is capable of staying asleep for a lengthy period of time(Sept. 7), that those little discipline issues that have developed over the summer are addressed quickly and fairly (Sept. 14) and that you are aware of the appropriate developmental expectations with which to approach toilet training - slowly (Sept. 28). Register.
Just in case you can't make a seminar but really need the information, please book a Telephone Counseling Appointment for any Monday in September. You and I will talk about any of these topics --with particular reference to your situation with your child. If you have just a short question, consider sending an Ask Kitty email question, any time in September.
During October, when I am away, I'll still be answering Ask Kitty email questions from wherever I am! If you have a l o n g e r question or larger problem, all you need to do is purchase 2 questions.
I would love to hear from you about your summer-ending and what this time of year feels like for you.
Cheers,
Kitty Raymond
Filed under: Interesting Parenting Matters
Aiming for Independent Play
Posted August 11, 2010
Are you constantly busy with your children, providing activities, driving them places, trying to stave off whining, boredom and temper tantrums? If so, you may be exhausted! When children are overly entertained and have not acquired the ability to play alone, they tend to become increasingly demanding and always look to the parent of caregiver to solve their boredom.
Teaching children from an early age to play independently is to give them a life-long skill. To be able to entertain oneself with one's own thoughts and ideas leads a child toward a rich inner life. A child who cannot play by herself must be constantly vigilant in an effort to cajole or whine her way toward finding a playmant, usually a parent or a caregiver. Naturally, adults are the most interesting to play with because they are willing to lead the play and the child is often free to take a back seat.
Parents who want to encourage independent play for their child can begin early, by around 6-8 months. Leave your baby sitting with a small basket of measuring spoons, plastic cups and suckable objects for 10-20 minutes at a time, 2-3 times a day. Now your child has the opportunity to relate to his toys without an adult directly present. You may come back and forth occasionally, adding an item or idea; with a toddler, you might stop for a sip of pretend tea or give a kiss to a bear, but these interludes are brief and your child learns over time that the best ideas exist in his own head.
Sets of zoo animals, farm animals, play people, hats, containers, a little music and a tiny bowl of dry Cheerios, make the playtimes feel special. For easy tidying, store each category of play props (toys) in individual baskets.
With this approach, you become the facilatator of your child's play, providing the props, the opportunity and the privacy without slipping into the rold of entertainer. Regrouping the toys from time to time and interspersing these independent playtimes with story-reading, naps and mealtimes, means that by the end of the day you may even have enough energy left to entertain yourself - and admire your good parenting!
Filed under: Daily Routines, Play
Moving to a Bed (from a Crib)
Posted July 28, 2010
This is absolutely the way/time I like the transition to a big bed to happen. By waiting until age 3 (+-) it gives the child time to become interested and curious about the transition and feel in charge of it. Her timing is good and I see no big reason to make her work around the moving time. So my advice is to follow her lead. Two important things:
- Let her know that in order to keep her safe and for you to know where she is, only parents will be in charge of when her door closes or opens. I suggest you find a method you are comfortable with (white door-knob cover? hook and eye lock on outside?) so you can stay 100% in control of where she is, just as if you have turned her whole room into one large crib. (I would leave the crib up for a week or so, just in case she needs to make a few trial runs...)
- I suggest you leave the soother in place, for now. After the move and once she is a good sleeper in her new bed (glitches do arise, occasionally, even at this age), it will then be a good time to take the soother away. To do that, you can tell her "Tonight is the night you will be able to fall asleep without the soother, just like you do at daycare. (warning her ahead only creates anxiety) If she tries to talk you out of it, let her know it's OK if she needs to cry because crying will help her get to sleep faster." Then, you just do it. Give her something new to suck on (she probably won't use it) and tell her you know she can do it. In the meantime, you can let her know that if she loses her soothers in her big bed, she can get out of bed and look for it. Let her know that her soothers are up to her, now. (put an extra in a box on a shelf and let her know the location?)
- Generally, I do not recommend a child participates in the "loss" of soothers. When/why they go should be an adult decision, and if you can avoid feeling sorry for her (hard!) she'll feel more confident in the long run.
Filed under: Sleep
