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Raymond Parenting - Summer Schedule, 2012

Posted June 17, 2012

I am writing with a head's up for you on which Raymond Parenting services will be available during June and July and those that will be "on hold" until August, 2012. The good news is that you can reach me any time, one way or another, if parenting issues develop for you over the summer months!

Throughout the early summer, these Raymond Parenting services will remain in place:

Email Questions to Kitty (short and deluxe)
Videos and Audios to download online
Kitty's Blog - here are recent posts: (enter your email to get these regularly)
- Toilet Training or Toilet Learning?
- Family Mealtimes - is it key to a strong family?
- Alberta Health Services - only one way to parent?
- Attachment Parenting - to sleep or not to sleep?
Kitty's facebook articles - here are recent posts:
- Letting Toddlers Climb - teetering on the balance of exploration and danger
- Breastfeeding - a personal choice
- Happy Father's Day - links to sites for dads
- Hospitals are Teaching Parents When to Put the Baby Down
- Confessions of a Burned-Out Soccer Mom
- One Mom's Story of Discovering Happiness

These Raymond Parenting services will resume in August:

Telephone Counseling appointments (dates are up - book ahead if problems arise)
Evening Seminars (dates are up - book now to avoid disappointment)

Cheers for a good summer for all of you!

Kitty

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Toilet Training or Toilet Learning?

Posted June 12, 2012

Once we understand how children learn best (slow process of imitation of beloved adults), it’s easy to see how important it is to allow your child time to learn about the toilet (accomplished between 2-3 years of age) before they are ready to be instructed on how to use it (accomplished between 3-4 years of age).

Learning about the toilet includes watching favorite people as they pee and poop. It also includes hearing the sounds, smelling the smells, having chances to observe why people use the toilet like that and judge whether they seem glad about it –or not.

My observation is that for most children the learning part begins once their curiosity is triggered. This can happen around 20 months for some children (usually a short-term interest which fades) or may not occur until after age two-and-a-half. Developmentally, children vary and so will the timing of their curiosity for learning about the toilet.

A problem arises because parents are made to believe they should start instructing their child on toilet use the moment the child becomes interested. It’s very important that parents realize that this is the time only for learning to happen (usually at a slow pace) and if they begin instruction now, they risk killing the interest. In fact, many children strongly resist the instruction at this age and a few develop a phobia about the toilet or potty.

Once a child has had their 3^rd birthday, which will occur after months of opportunities to learn by watching, it is now a good time to start instruction. At this age it usually only takes about 3-5 days to accomplish this teaching. We know the child is ready developmentally and it’s unusual for a child who has been allowed this more respectful approach to build strong resistance. Now we can make good use of potty treats (which can backfire if done earlier) and we need not worry about the psychological damage which can happen from a child being put under too much pressure to perform too early.

So what do you tell your friends who say their child is potty trained by two? Or your mother-in-law who remembers your spouse was trained by 9 months? You might say “We are deliberately taking a more relaxed approach. Right now we are choosing to concentrate on other things. I think by kindergarten we won’t be able to tell who was trained early and who took their time learning about the toilet.”

Kitty Raymond teaches Toilet Learning the Easy Way for parents which children age 18 months to 4 years.

Next Toilet Learning Seminar: August 21, 2012

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Family Mealtime - Is it Key to a Strong Family?

Posted June 3, 2012

I've seen many families feeling the pressure to construct a 'family mealtime' each evening to satisfy the advice that eating together makes a family stronger. This article concludes that the strength of a family evolves slowly over time and relies on several aspects of family life (routines, rituals, parental attunement, etc.) that go well beyond and do not necessarily include 'family mealtime' on it's own.

Families can now relax! If it's working at your house, great. If your children are too young or if your older children are resistant - let it go from time to time. I think the overly strong focus on 'family mealtimes' also creates too much of a spotlight on a child as parents watch to see what's being eaten and , perhaps, over-analyze the child's behavior. Some kids go crazy with too much focus.

-This article also appears at http://www.facebook.com/raymondparentingnews Check there for additional articles and excellent blogs I've found and posted.

Limited Phone Counseling Appointments - available this week

Monday, June 4, 12:00 PM (noon)

Friday, June 8, 10 AM or 11:00 AM

Limited appointments available on Monday June 11 and 12. Please email me with your requested time. .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Telephone Counseling appointments will be next available during the months of August and September. (No appointments during July.)

June Seminars

Sleep from Now On (12 lbs. to 4 years) Tuesday, June 5 7:00 PM

Sleep from the Start (prenatal - newborn) Thursday, June 7 7:00 PM

Toilet Learning the Easy Way (18 months to 3 years Tuesday, June 12 7:00 PM

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